Algo Novo

Pain

Everything hurts.

And I feel like I can't say anything to anyone.

I have people who really, really care for me, and I'm sure that they would love to listen. But those are the ones I definitely can't bother — cause they've done so much already. They unconditionally love and accept me. They're aware of how needy I've grown to be during all my life, because of how I was raised. They know how selfish my pain is, and they are still here. 

But sometimes... Sometimes they're not. 

Naturally. Not because they're mean. Not because they don't care. They're just not with me all the time.

But when they aren't, I resent them. 

Not with all of me, but, somewhere inside, I do.

And I know I don't do that as much as I used to do. I know I've worked hard to be better not only in therapy sessions, but in my everyday life. But being alone hurts.

And I can't forgive myself for feeling like this. Feeling this shitty. This hurt. It's not fair.

Not fair with them. Not fair with me.

So, although I can't stop crying, I have no right to complain. It's like I brought it to myself.

So I won't say anything.

 I'll just write, cause that I can do. And I hope someone will read it. 

That, really, I guess would be enough.