Uncharted

Chapter Five

Trigger Warning: Mentions of abortion

5

February 2018

On I-5 headed south to Redding, CA

CJ was first aware of a slight throb in her head as she awoke, and the events of the previous day came rushing back to her memory. She pulled her knees up to her chest and cracked open her eyes to see her bedside clock read 9:25 A.M. Her aunt and Michelle were already at work, and she had the house to herself. A painful hunger wracked her stomach and reminded her that she had slept through dinner last night. A small bundle of something sitting on her desk with a note resting on top caught her attention. Something Mindy has left her.

Her grogginess was broken when she remembered her hospital discharge paperwork had been on her desk. She sat up and noticed her dirty pants that had been crumpled on the floor were gone. Cold panic gripped her, and she flew out of bed over to her desk. She felt slightly relieved when she saw the discharge paperwork still tucked halfway under her laptop, undisturbed. She turned her attention to the handwritten note.

CJ,

Here are some things to help you feel better. Michelle & I will be back at the normal time this evening with some pizza 😊 If you wake up hungry, I made you something for breakfast. It's on the table.

Love, Mindy

Underneath the note was a waterproof shower sleeve for her cast, a large bag of Kit Kats, a heating pad, and a large fluffy blanket. She smiled at Mindy's thoughtfulness, but remember her pants were still missing. She left the bedroom and quickly walked down the hallway. She spied a tray of freshly baked cinnamon rolls on the table, but did not let that stop her from continuing to the laundry room. Sitting at the top of a basket full of dirty laundry were her pants. She quickly searched the pocket and pulled out the sonogram. Mindy still didn't know, and she was going to keep it that way. She walked back to her bedroom and went back over to her desk. She pulled out her old paper shredder and turned it on. Without hesitation, she shredded her discharge paperwork.

CJ sunk down into her desk chair, looking at the sonogram. She took a deep breath and slid the sonogram into the machine, hearing it whir to life and shred the small slip of paper. A few tears escaped her eyes. She quickly wiped them away. Quick flashbacks of her childhood ran through her mind. Her mother in her face screaming at her, her arm being grabbed in a painfully tight grip, the scent of stale cigarettes and burning chemicals, the creeping sensation of roaches crawling on her body, and the final memory she had of her mother. The one she had re-lived many times. Her mother's cold and uncaring face as she threw a blanket over CJ while she laid on a couch, struggling to breathe and choking on her own vomit, trying to reach a small hand out and say something to beg for her life.

CJ had begun to hyperventilate as she pulled herself out of her intrusive thoughts. She was too fearful of repeating the same cycle she had been raised in. What if a child drove her to become a monster? She'd be a terrible mother; she was sure of it.

If all of this wasn't enough of a deterrent, she also couldn't imagine the emotional turmoil of having a child that was a stark reminder of her relationship with Duff. He had made her feel so loved and safe during their time together, and then ripped the rug out from under her without giving her any answers as to why he had done so. Even worse, she now was not sure if he had intentionally lied to her about his vasectomy just to avoid using a condom. She likely would never get the answers to any of her questions. But she could take control.

CJ turned to face her desk and opened up her laptop. Feeling emotionally numb, but determined, she went to Google and searched for the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic.