Uncharted

Chapter Eight

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of drug use & mentions of abortion. 

8

February 2018

Mindy's House / Redding, California

CJ was warm. All was right and safe in the world as she lay under a soft layer of blankets, wrapped in his embrace. She couldn't see that it was him, but he flooded her senses; the fresh scent of his cologne, a flash of blonde hair, the comfort of his touch, the low sound of his voice speaking softly to her, saying something she could not entirely make out. He was stroking her back, like he always did when they lay in bed, lightly up and down her spine, giving her goosebumps. She was hyper aware of how relaxed she was. CJ hadn't felt so light in a very long time. This was where she belonged.

The warmth was slowly increasing, and she was starting to feel a little heated. Suddenly, he was gone. She reached out, trying to grab back onto him. The heat was quickly becoming suffocating, and she ripped through the blankets in desperation. She was alarmed to find herself in an unfamiliar room, bright flames licking up the walls. CJ began to inhale smoke, making her cough violently as she struggled to breathe. He was nowhere to be seen. There was an open window across the room, and she moved quickly out of the bed. As she approached it, the window slammed shut. She frantically tried to yank it back open with all her strength but could not. There were no latches for her to unlock anywhere. Her panic was sharply spiking, and she began to yell, pounding her fists against the window. She could see outside to a moonlit yard. There was a tall blonde figure walking away with his back to the burning house.

"DUFF!" she screamed, continuing to pound on the window. He did not turn around. She repeatedly screamed his name, her throat burning. The approaching flames began to blister her back. The house suddenly began to collapse around her, the walls closing in with a loud creaking sound.

-

The loud creaking morphed into the shrill ringing of her phone alarm clock, sounding off at the time she had pre-set the night before. CJ sat up coughing, the smoke of her nightmare still irritating her lungs. She grabbed onto the sheets and blankets of her bed, trying to ground herself and regulate her breathing. She'd take PTSD nightmares about her childhood any day over these types of nightmares. Nightmares of him that wouldn't let the wound heal and made her emotions new and raw again.

How could they be apart, acting like strangers to one another when she felt her soul so tied to his? What was he doing right now? Was he home in Seattle? Or maybe in Los Angeles or Hawaii with his girls. Maybe he had moved on already to someone and was planning a date or even a vacation with her, wining and dining her like he had done with her. Maybe she really had meant so little to him.

Her alarm clock went off again, making her jump out of her dark thoughts. It was 9:00 A.M. and she needed to get moving. She had yet again decided to do her sneaking around on a day that both Mindy and Michelle were working. However, this morning's appointment didn't carry the dread that her Planned Parenthood appointment had. CJ hadn't had a consistent doctor in some time, and she had spent the past week searching. She knew that if she wasn't going through with the abortion, then she needed to see an OBGYN and get her ducks in a row, as hard as it would be. While she technically had two remaining options, the thought of adopting her child out scared her more than keeping it. Ever since she fled the Planned Parenthood appointment that feeling of unconditional love had remained within her, sitting alongside her fear. She had never felt that type of love and it had helped carry her through the past week. She was still struggling to eat and sleep, but she was more clear-headed. The OBGYN appointment would hopefully provide more clarity and she could come up with a plan.