Secrets of the Heart: JeffBarcode fan fiction

Chapter 5

The sound of the shower is coming from the bathroom. Barcode is pacing back and forth while talking on the phone in the hotel room.

Barcode: Pick up! Pick up!
Gemini: It's so fucking late. What is it?
Barcode: My friend, help me?
Gemini: What?
Barcode: P'Jeff.
Gemini: I've told you over and over again. You like him, tell him. Simple.
Barcode: We're way past that. We're already dating.
Gemini: Finally. I had enough of listening to you cry about him thinking of you as "nong." You really called me at 2 AM, to tell me that?
Barcode: Mmmh, No. I had a question. How do you-what do you do exactly during that time?
Gemini: That time?
Barcode: SEX! I look at the bathroom door and listen closely for the sound of running water. Once I heard it. I continue in a lower voice.
I thought I wasn't ready. But, something happened. We started kissing and things got more intense. If we wouldn't have been interrupted. I think I would've gone all the way with P'Jeff. The thing is, I don't know how to...do it.
Gemini: You've never watched porn?
Barcode: I don't like porn. I know where "it goes." But, I have so many other questions. Like how do you decide who is going to...you know? Also, will it hurt? How bad will it hurt? Are condoms necessary? I mean I've never been with anyone and I think P' would tell me if has something. Also, if he's the one inside me. Do I just lay still? What if he wants different things than me in bed? How will I know what my boundaries are? How-
Gemini: Okay! I get it. Look top and bottom is up to you two. It will hurt. How much it depends. What you do if he's topping you, just follow what your body wants to do. He'll also probably give you direction if he wants you to do something particular. Condoms are once again up to the both of you. Your boundaries are what you feel comfortable doing. Simple. As for what the two you want in bed. I think you should talk to your boyfriend about that. Honestly, you should be talking to him about all of this.
Barcode: I want to. I just don't want him to think of me as a child who knows nothing.
Gemini: Just because you're inexperienced doesn't mean you're any less of a man. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him about this. Are you really ready to have sex with him?
Before I can respond. The door to the bathroom starts to open. I click 'end call' and look at Jeff as he enters the room. I pray my face isn't as hot as I feel.

Jeff thoughts: I leave the bathroom, wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants over my boxers. My eyes immediately connect with N' and they seem nervous. I scrunch my eyebrow, trying to draw a conclusion to this look. I see Barcode's face has turned red and he's chewing on his bottom lip.
Jeff: Code?
Barcode: Yeah, P'?
Jeff: Why are you so red?
As I say this I approach Code and lock his hands with mine.
Barcode: I-um-I need to ask you-about-activities.
I finish by closing my eyes shut and inhaling deeply.
Jeff thoughts: I play the word activities in my head. Searching for the meaning. The meaning then slaps me in the face. It makes my cold body start to rise in temperature. I nod my head and bring him over to sit on the bed together. I make sure we're facing each other before I respond.
Jeff: Which activities exactly? Do you mean what happened yesterday morning or do you mean what you would want to happen?
I say this without letting my eyes leave Barcode's for a minute. I want us to be very clear throughout this conversation. Without any miscommunications.
Barcode: About what...the second thing.
I finish my sentence unable to state it out loud so openly.
Jeff: Mmh, go ahead. What do you want to know?
I see Barcode drop his head bashfully. I give a quick and comforting kiss on the top of his hand.
He finally looks back up at me. A smile playing on his lips.
Barcode: How many people have you slept with?
Jeff was a little stunned at the question. Takes a moment to gather himself.
Jeff: People I've been in love with 5.
Barcode: In general?
Jeff: I'm not sure.
Barcode: Are you being honest with me?
Jeff laughs a bit at the sudden accusation.
Jeff: I am. You can ask me anything. I will always give you a truthful response.
Barcode: Mmmh. I'm sorry to ask this one P'Jeff. Do you have any STD's?
Jeff: I can confidently say, "no." I'm always careful with casual sex and I get checked regularly.
Barcode nods his head a little apologetically.
Jeff notices this and places a gentle hand on his cheek.
Jeff: Don't be sorry. I'm honestly proud of you for being careful.
I give a sincere smile which seems to calm Code down again.
Barcode: Top or Bottom?
Jeff thinks about this question.
Jeff: Whichever you prefer.
Barcode thoughts: I feel surprised by Jeff's answer. I thought he would definitely say top. I got so used to the fans always saying "JeffBarcode" that I didn't allow myself to consider it any other way.
Jeff thoughts: Code seems lost in thought regarding my response. His eyes move back and forth like he's swiping through different thoughts quickly.
Jeff: Tirak, you don't have to decide now. I'm just telling you what I'm comfortable with.
Barcode shakes his head gratefully at not having to decide now.
Barcode: I only have one more question.
Jeff waits patiently.
Barcode: Don't tease! If I decide on a certain option. How bad will it hurt?
Jeff thoughts: Barcode seemed to have saved this question for last because it was the one that bothered him the most. I want to reassure him that it won't hurt at all. I want to put his mind at ease, but I owe him the honesty I promised.
Jeff: More than likely it's going to hurt. I can't say how much. I will do everything to make it hurt as little as possible though.
I look into Nong's eyes which are filled with uneasiness. I trap him in a tight hug and whisper in his ear.
Jeff: I don't want you to be afraid. Especially not of me. You really don't have to bottom if it worries you this much. We really don't have to do anything at all if that's something you're not prepared for. Please don't rush yourself because you think it's something I expect of you.
Barcode thoughts: Jeff's hugs have always and still make me feel safe from everything. Even my own fears. As I'm listening to him. I get more and more hurt. Not for me but for him. I don't want him to think that any of the things he is feeling right now is true.
Barcode: P' stop.
I pull myself out of his grip. So I can look him in the eyes when I tell him this.
Barcode: I'm not afraid of you. I know you don't expect anything of me sexually. I'm discussing this with you because I want to have sex with you. Maybe, I wasn't totally prepared. But that was the point of these questions. To get prepared.
Jeff: Do you feel prepared now?
I say this with a lightened heart hearing Tirak's confession.
Barcode: I still don't really know what to expect, but I feel prepared nonetheless. I'm not saying we're doing anything tonight, but I am saying I want to.

1 week later.

The tour has taken a break to allow the cast to rest at home before continuing.
Jeff and Badcode spent the entire time attached at the hip. Rather it be on or off camera. Many times they have almost been caught in dressing rooms, bathrooms, and private areas backstage kissing by the cast. Luckily they made it through to break. Where they can have undisturbed time together. The two of them thought this but didn't tell each other.

Barcode's house.

Gemini: I honestly didn't think I would hear from you all break.
I sneak a peek at Code who rolls his eyes and continues playing the game.
Gemini: You've been over at P'Jeff's a lot lately. I'm guessing you went ahead with what you called me about.
Barcode gets startled by the sudden mention of their phone call last week. Losing focus like this gets his character killed.
Barcode: I took your advice. We talked.
Gemini: And then you two....
Barcode: Nosy!
Gemini: haha. Come on, I was just teasing. You don't have to tell me anything about you and your "Tirak."

Barcode's mom had knocked on the door and asked permission to enter.
Both Barcode and Gemini looked at each other with the same expression. It said 'Did she hear that?'

Barcode: Come in, mom.
My voice sounded a little high from the nerves.
Barcode's mom: Baby boy, are you hungry? Nong?
Barcode and Gemini accepted some of the food. Still feeling on edge despite Barcode's mom friendly demeanor.
Barcode's mom thoughts: Both young boys sit in front of me barely making eye contact. They clearly are worried I heard their conversation. Even if I hadn't. I've been aware of my son's feelings for his P' for a long time. I'm even more aware now, that he's almost always with N'Jeff. I don't want to push him to talk about this with me. But, I also want him to know I love him and fully support his relationship with N'Jeff.
Barcode's mom: Baby boy, where is Jeff today?
Barcode: He's out with P'Bible at that bar, 'Rooftop.'
Barcode's mom: So you won't be seeing him today then?
Barcode: No not today. I will see him tomorrow however. We have a interview and I was going to spend the night with him instead of him driving me back.
I finish a little less confident in tone. I don't want my mom to suspect anything about me sleeping over with Jeff. But at the same time I failed at casually displaying this information.
Barcode's mom: Okay. But I thought the cast was on break. Why are you and N'Jeff doing an interview?
Barcode: Both managers thought it would be good to add more attention onto the 'JeffBarcode' ship.
Especially, while the other couples in the series are inactive.
Barcode's mom nodded her head and left the room.

At the 'Rooftop' bar.

Bible: I'll take another one.
Jeff sits down beside his friend. While he enjoys spending time with Bible. He also hates having to be separated from Barcode.
Jeff: How many glasses have you had?
Bible: Only three.
Jeff: Maybe you should slow down my friend.
Bible: Maybe you should just get yourself one.
Jeff: I can't. I'm doing an interview tomorrow and I want to give my best.
Bible gave a sarcastic tone for his next words.
Bible: Mmh, I bet you do. I'm sure you're doing all of this for your fans. Definitely not for your boyfriend. Who will be there as well.
Jeff: Hey I love my fans! I also love my boyfriend. So why not be in perfect condition for both.
Bible: Speaking of the love for your fans. How is N' handling having to share you with the world.
Jeff: He doesn't share me with anyone. I belong only to him. Honestly, since we started dating I haven't seen Barcode get jealous. It makes me frustrated. I'm so possessive of him. I don't want to share him with anyone. Yet, he doesn't seem to show the same feelings.
Bible: N'Code. He definitely shares those feelings. I think it's his first relationship. Right now he's so focused on you and how he feels about you. He hasn't had time to notice anyone else to be jealous.

To be continued.