Secrets of the Heart: JeffBarcode fan fiction

Chapter 9

At the last concert for the Kinnporsche cast.

Jeff thoughts: The last 6 months I've spent with Barcode have been the happiest of my life. Ever since the Kinnporsche cast vacation. We've been inseparable. We spend almost every minute-of every day-of every week together. A week after the vacation ended, Barcode and I told his mom and sister; about us dating. They both took it very well and are extremely supportive. Well his mother is. His sister is supportive under the guidelines, if I hurt him she'll skin me alive.

While everything has been amazing with my relationship. I've been wanting to tell my Tirak that I'm no longer happy to work for BOC. I've made moves to start my own company for a few months now. I've wanted to discuss it with him for so long, but I know it will hurt him. I don't know how I can go through every conversation (with every cast member) that I'm leaving them. Especially Code.
Mike noticed I was off the whole time backstage. He confronted me and I told him what I needed to tell everyone tonight. While he said he understands why I'm doing it this way. He thinks telling Nong Code like this is not the right way. I know he's right, but I'm out of time. I walk towards Barcode and grab him by the hand. I pull him into a nearby dressing room to talk with him privately.

Barcode: Jeff I know we enjoy our times in dressing rooms, but we only have 15 minutes before we have to go on stage. Can it wait?
Jeff: Baby...
Barcode: What's wrong? Why are there tears in your eyes? It may be our last Kinnporsche show, but it's not the end of us. You know this.
Jeff: Would there ever be an end to us? For any reason?
Barcode thoughts: I stare a little dumbfounded by the question. I don't like the idea of talking about Jeff and I not being together. I understand he's scared because things are changing now. But why does he have so little faith in our relationship?
Barcode: Jeff you trust the love we have for each other right?
Jeff nodded.
Barcode: Then I promise there won't be an end to us.
Jeff thoughts: I wrap my arms around Barcode so tightly and let the tears run down my face. I need him to sit with that promise for a minute before I tell him the truth.
Jeff: Baby, I have to tell you something. I'm sorry I've been hiding it. But, I didn't know how to tell you and it never seemed like the right time. You were always so happy and I couldn't do anything to hurt that. Then before I knew it we were here. I got cowardly and let you be in the dark with everyone else. Please forgive me for that?
Barcode: How can I forgive you for it when you haven't told me what you kept hidden from me?
Jeff: I'm-
Staff: We need you both on stage now!
Jeff : Could we have just a-
Barcode: Coming. We can talk about this later.
Jeff thoughts: Barcode takes my hand and pulls me with him on stage.
We gave a great performance as usual. Then comes time for the final goodbye. The mic gets to me and I hesitate for a moment. I let my heart feel everything it's been pushing down. I let the sadness about leaving Barcode. Leaving the family I've made here, it all overcomes me. I start by trying to speak to the crowd. I can't seem to get my voice to speak. So I look to my safe place. Code. I look into his eyes.
Jeff: I love this cast so much. The relationships I've made with them will forever be with me. No matter where we end up. From Mile, Apo, Bible, Build, Ta, Tong, and Barcode. Barcode my little one. My everything.
The crowd screams at my words but I still don't let go of Code's eyes.
Jeff: You have given me so much more than I ever thought life would ever offer to me. When I'm with you everything feels so right. I love you and know I'm never leaving your side. No matter what. I promise.
Mile taps me on the shoulder. Silently letting me know that if I say more It will be too much. Too much for the world to know. Too much for anyone other than me and Barcode.
Jeff: I'm leaving Be On Cloud. I will be starting my own company. I will miss all of you so much. Especially you Tirak.
The crowd erupted into deafening screams. I don't know if it was about my leaving or me calling Barcode Tirak. Maybe both. Either way I just wanted Barcode to say something. To tell me, it's okay. To tell me, he's not mad. Or that he understands. But most of all, I want him to tell me that he will keep his promise. That we will stay together.
Badcode thoughts: Hearing the sweet words Jeff had to say had me blushing very obviously. But then he said he's leaving. At first I thought I must've imagined it. Then the screams of the crowd vibrated my ear drums. I stared into Jeff's eyes. I don't know what I was looking for but it's not what I found. He looked back at me begging me to say something. The whole cast stared back and forth between Jeff and I. None said anything. I don't think they knew what to say any more than I did. I couldn't stand the distance anymore and I ran over to him. I threw my arms around him. He nearly lost his balance but I couldn't let go. I let my tears flow freely, not caring about anyone seeing. I couldn't find any words for all the things I was thinking and feeling. So I simply said what all of it summed up to.
Barcode: I love you Jeff.
I said it into the mic. I wanted everyone to know it. I no longer cared if people figured about us dating. I didn't care if it destroyed everything in my career. I needed him to know how much I loved him. Just as he had done for me. We stayed in this hug and cried together. I don't know how long it was, but no one tried to separate us. I could hear Bible, and other casts giving words of goodbyes. But we still held onto each other. We still cried. We kept whispering to each other, "I love you." Over and over again. It didn't totally take away pain, but it helped more than you could imagine. We finally broke apart to do the final bow to the crowd. I let go of Jeff's hand afterwards and went to speak to fans.
Jeff: Code. You shouldn't be near the edge of the stage; you'll get hurt.
Barcode thoughts: I heard Jeff's words, but made no move. The sadness still echoes in me, but I also feel anger. How could he not tell me? How could he blindside me? How could he not even consider asking me what I felt about him leaving?
Jeff taps me on my shoulder to get up. I do, but before Jeff can take my waist. I walk away going to talk with Ta. Jeff tries to speak to me again. He asked if I would come with him. I didn't even bother acknowledging his presence. We didn't speak to each other backstage or during the fan meet. We got into our cars and started the drive. I knew Jeff would force me to talk to him here.
Jeff: Tirak. Please talk to me.
Barcode: What would you like me to say?
Jeff: How you feel. What you think. Anything that's the truth about us right now.
Barcode: The truth? That feels a tad hypocritical don't you think?
Jeff: I know, I should've told you. We have talked about my dream of starting my own company, but I should've told you I was moving ahead with it. I wanted to. I really did. Barcode, we were so happy. Everything was amazing. Us, your family, our friends, and our lives. How could I find the time to tell you something that would make you so sad? I just wanted you to enjoy everything in the moment. I didn't want you to think about the future. I was also a coward. I was scared once I told you. You wouldn't see a future for me and you. I can't live without you. I would die if I didn't have you.
Barcode: You think I don't feel the same? You honestly believe that us working at different companies would stop me loving you. I don't love you out of convenience for working together. I have loved you from my entire being. Everything about me is yours. My heart, my body, and my soul. There's nothing about me that could ever stop loving you.
I take a deep breath. Letting my tears come again. I feel my body start shaking from the emotion. I feel Jeff give me a kiss on both eyes. He wipes away the tears and tells me to look at him my
I open my eyes and I'm met with a loving smile. I can't help, but smile back.
Jeff: I know it's wrong to smile right now. But hearing you say those words about me. The same words my heart says about you. It feels like for the first time in my life. Not only have I never been so afraid of losing someone, but I've also never felt so secure with someone.

Marry me?

Barcode: What?

Jeff: I want to marry you. We don't have to announce it yet. We don't have to get married till you're ready. I just want you to be mine forever. I want to know that both of us agree to be together for the rest of our lives. Please marry me, Barcode Tinnasit Isarapongporn?

Barcode: Yes...but under one condition. My sister can't know for a very long time.
Jeff grabbed my face and yanked me into a passionate kiss. The world seemed to fade away as our lips touched and our hearts beat as one.

The End.

Author note: I thought the end should also be a beginning. Writing this fanfic meant so much to me. I wanted to give them all the love I could. I hope any of you who made it this far enjoyed it as much as I did. With love ~Kaia 🤍