Over Again (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12: (NOTE: I updated TWICE today, so make sure you read the previous chapter.)

           Harry held me in his arms, and let me just tell him all the things I had been holding in all these years. All the things I could never tell anyone. All the things that made me a bad person. "The voices once told me that I should k-kill my baby sister....Little Lottie! Isn't that awful?" I said, my voice now hoarse from all the talking as I looked at Harry who had been contently listening, nodding and occasionally making a sound of agreement.

          "You didn't though. You're a good person, Lou." He rubbed my arms up and down, which just made more tears fall. He was just so perfect. "I think my dad left my mom because he couldn't deal with me anymore..." I had never admitted that to anyone, especially my mother. Her and I didn't get along, but I loved her and she loved me. She was just scared of me, which was completely understandable.

          "You don't need a father figure like him anyways." Harry furrowed his brows, and I could tell what I had said upset him. "Why not?" Harry just shrugged, looking down and mumbling. He already spoke in a deep voice, so when he mumbled it was nearly impossible to make out the words. "What?"

         "My father abused my mother and scarred me for life and then my step-father hated me so much he put me in a mental institute since I was practically a child and you're going to complain? You have 4 lovely sisters that love you and now you have great friends like Niall. Louis...I've never had anyone. " He looked in my eyes, and I realized how selfish I had been acting.

          I couldn't even imagine being in this place for more than a year. I had only been here about 3 weeks and I was getting bored. I enjoyed it here, but there wasn't much to do. I suggested to Liam to get a movie room or some board games but they said it would involve too much security. Harry had to be here, alone, no friends. I had Niall. I would never have survived without him, he had been like my tour guide

          "Sorry Harry." I said, and he stroked my cheek with his giant thumb. His hands were so large, intimidating even, but I loved them. I grabbed it, intertwining my fingers with his. He looked down at me. "I don't mind listening to you tell me about these things I just...need you to realize you have it easy."

          Easy. I had never thought of things from that perspective. I never had friends, but I had my sisters. I never had friends, but I had good grades. I hear voices, but at least I wasn't raped as a child like Danielle and Rose, or I wasn't so abused that my mind couldn't process it and I turned into several people. I could be like Harry. I could have to suffer every minute of every day. I could never enjoy happiness.

           "How do you stay positive? I mean, in this persona..." His other personalities weren't always so positive. "There are people in other countries like Ghana who their children die because people in countries like ours don't give money. There are mothers who witness their children's suicides. There are boys who are bullied to death. Girls are raped every day. People have so many issues....Why should I pity myself when I could spend more time on trying to get better?"

          I stared at him, and kissed him. "I am so in love with you Harry." He smiled, his dimples showing and his cheeks tinted a bit. "Then be my boyfriend." I quickly said "No." and his entire face fell. "I want to wait until I can get every single side of you to love me. I don't want to be your boyfriend when you're my Harry but when you're being 'Haz' I'm just your enemy. I want all of you to love me."

           He chuckled, grabbing my wrists and kissing the cuts. "You're perfect, Louis. No one has ever done anything that ki-" He was cut off by the sound of the speaker. It was time for Group Therapy 3. I stood up, grabbing his hand. He wiped my tears away. "Do you think Liam would mind if I brought you along?" He asked, and I just shrugged and smiled. "I can always just sneak it."