Over Again (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

           "Louis, here." Harry brought in a cup of tea, something he had done multiple times throughout the day. I've been sitting in Yoshi's hospital room all night. It had to be past 3 in the morning by now. No one has talked to Josh, and Zayn and Niall were forced to go to sleep. I forced the nurses to allow me to stay with her. No one deserves to be alone in a situation like this. What if it was one of my sisters?

           "You have to drink it, Lou." He rubbed my back and I sighed, smiling and taking a sip. Liam had allowed Harry to stay with me, since he seemed to be normal Harry. He'd been pretty quiet, except when I was crying. Now, I was more of a dumb feeling. I wasn't sad, just worried. I didn't want her to die.

            "Let's go for a walk, mate." Harry basically lifted me from the chair before I agreed. "Fine. I hope she doesn't..." He rubbed my back, his arm snaking around my waist. "The nurses are watching her. Let's go. " We walked down the hall, and it felt so different. This corridor of the Meadows was for patients who are physically sick. Liam said they needed it since the more severe patients it would be best to keep them here instead of transporting them to a real hospital.

           "Why are you even staying with her? Don't you want to spend time with me?" Harry asked, and finally it hit me why he was acting all weird. "Harold Styles! You are mine. She's annoying and not even that pretty. You're mine." I repeated, holding him tightly to my chest. "Alright, good. I just....She is a girl and I'm not and if you decided you were..."

            I laughed. "Don't be jealous." We walked in silence, him seeming to be satisfied with how I answered. I loved him, if only he knew that. I had told him, but we never really TOLD each other it. I wanted him to know I was truly, madly, deeply in love with him but I had to wait until all sides of him loved me. Then, I would know he meant it when he said it back.

            Making it to the end of the hall, I wondered where Eleanor was. She was good with girls. I wanted her to comfort Yoshi when she woke up. "I wonder where Josh is...Damn it." Harry leaned me against the wall, looking down. I felt like he was getting taller every day. "You don't know what happened. Don't judge." I crossed my arms, glaring up at him. "Why would you defend him? He's being a git."

            "What if one day I accidently hurt you? Everyone will tell you to leave me. No one else will understand if you did choose to stay with me. Maybe we just aren't understanding things from his perspective." Harry took so long to speak, but his point got across. I guess the normal dating rules didn't apply here.

            "I want to talk to him at least. This isn't okay. You said you had a sister. What if that was your sister in there, killing herself because of some boy? I thought her and Josh were so perfect I just..." I rubbed my head, and my faith was shaken a bit. Who's to say that Harry and I won't break up? Who's to say we even have a chance? In Josh and Yoshi's relationship, only one of them was extremely insane. But in mine and Harry's, we were both mental cases. How were we ever to think we have a chance?

You don't.

Don't even lie to yourself.

I bet Harry is probably trying to hurt you.

That's his plan.

His entire plan is just to crush you.

Because you're nothing.

Fag.

            I screamed, covering my ears. Harry frowned, looking at me. He grabbed my shoulders to calm me down, but I just screamed more. "No! DON'T HURT ME! DON'T DO THIS!!!! GO AWAY!" I continued screaming, and soon I even resorted to name calling. "UGLY!!! FAGGOT! IDIOT! ASSHOLE"

            Soon, he had a few tears streaming down his face but I was in one of my moods. I couldn't think clearly. I wanted him to cry. If he was going to hurt me, I could hurt him too. "I don't even love you. I'm not even gay!" I yelled, and that was the final straw. His arms dropped to his sides, and he looked down at me. His entire face paled, and I was scared he was going to turn aggressive, so I crossed my arms in front of me for protection.

               "You said you would never leave" He whispered, his voice going raspy. He sprinted from the room. It looked off, his long legs making him look like a gazelle. I shook my head, falling to the ground and sobbing. I did this. I pushed the people I wanted close to me away. I was just afraid of failure.

            "You okay?" I looked up, hoping for Harry but it was Josh. Perfect. Someone to take my anger out on. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I stood up, and he looked down. Finally, he looked up and handed me a note. "Yoshi gave this to me and...I just....Got scared. Why would she love me? I'm just an ugly stutterer."

Dear Joshy-Poo,

Ignore my messy handwriting. Hehe. I was too nervous to tell you this in person so oopsie. Um ok.Well. I think you're really cute. I know you're way out of my league but I really need to get this off my chest. I know you won't return my feelings, but I really really really really like you. I like your flippy hair and I think it's sooooooo cute that you play the drums. Way cooler than any other instrument. Did I tell you I can play the oboe? The kids at school always said "You're the hobo that plays the oboe with elbows and you're ugly Momoe." It made me cry but I just laughed. I even cut sometimes over it. I was thinking about killing myself. I mean, no one can ever love me, y'know? I'm ugly and I am too clingy and I get too jealous. You though, you're perfect. You are cute and sweet and hot and nice and funny and oh my gosh, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed. It's perfect and you're adorable and I just can't breathe when I'm around you. So, if I decide to kill myself, can you just tell Liam that I was your girlfriend? I know it's a lie, but I want people to think I had at least one cute boyfriend before I died.

Okay, so. I love you Joshy-Poo. Thanks for being your perfect self. Oh, I kind of borrow your drum stick so I could hold it when I die. Hehe.

XXX-Yoshi.

 

           It made no sense, it was sparradic, but I could imagine Yoshi giggling and crying as she wrote it. There was a huge blood stain at the bottom of the page. "Josh..." My hands started shaking, and he just nodded.

           "We have to fix this." He sat next to me, both of us having silent tears streaming down our face. Both of us lost someone we loved. The only difference was Josh might not be able to make it up to Yoshi. I wouldn't let my chance slip away. I wouldn't want Harry to do that. I couldn't live if Harry wasn't living.

           "Do you love her?" I asked, him nodding. "Then why would you tell her you can't date?" He sighed, and rubbed his face while he thought of an answer. "She's the kind of girl that thinks Cinderella deserved to do the cleaning. She's the kind of girl who loves Batman and who thinks turtles are the coolest animal ever. She's the kind of girl who gets jealous if I even stand within 30 meters of another girl. She's the kind of girl who doesn't care if we stay in our pajamas all day. She's the perfect kind of girl and I just don't think I can be everything he wants."

           "One night we stayed up all night just talking. She said sneaking me into her room was the most rebellious thing she had ever done. She said she liked bad boys. She liked dominant boys. She also said she likes nerds." He gave a sad laugh, smirking a bit to the side. "She is the most confusing, contradicting person ever. I love her and I just don't want to be the person who hurts her."

That made two of us, scared to hurt the one we loved but in the process of trying not to hurt them, we hurt them worse.

　

Hello my curlies! New chapter.

I still haven't decided if I want to kill Yoshi off or not. No one seems to be commenting so I might not even finish this story.

Go check out my other Larry stories please!!