Over Again (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 18

Chapter 18 (Important author note at end)

ZAYN POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!

               I had hid my painting in Liam's office, and was now walking to Louis' room. Since he'd gotten here, things have been a lot more eventful. Even though I had Niall, it was different. I liked him as more than a friend, so I couldn't talk to him in the casual way I could with Louis. Louis made me feel better about myself as well.

              When I got to the room, I walked in without knocking. "Hey ma-" I saw Louis wasn't in there, but Niall was in the bathroom. I could tell, since the bathroom light was shining through the cracks in the door. I walked over, going to knock on the door until I heard choking noises. Without hesitating, I opened the door.

             Niall was in the corner, bent over the rubbish bin. He was shirtless and just in his briefs. I walked over, bending down and rubbing his back. It hurt me to see him like this. I took the bin away, setting it to the side and rubbing his back. "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay." Niall looked up at me, and i could tell this wasn't the first time he'd thrown up this week. I could only hope he hadn't done it more than once today.

              I reached my hand up to his hair, and could feel it thinning. Anorexic people's hair often thinned before falling out. I didn't want him to be bald. I grabbed the bottle of mouthwash, handing it to him. I hated when he was like this. He shook his head. "I-I'm not done! I'm still disgusting." He said, before starting to sob.

                The tears started pouring out of his face, as he buried himself into my chest. Our arms wrapped around eachother, and I held him tightly. "You're beautiful Niall. I've told you this every day. Your body is nice and perfect just the way it is. You aren't fat, not at all. Have you binged?" I asked, using my calming tone of voice.

               "Yes. I snuck a pie and I ate the...the.." I sighed as he spoke, and kissed his forehead. After that, though, I pushed him away. He looked up at me, his lip quivering. I grabbed the sides of his face, caressing his cheeks with my thumb. "You can't keep doing this. You need to get healthy. Don't you want to go back to Mullingar with your family?"

               He nodded, taking deeping breaths. Niall always talked about how much he missed them. he missed his entire family so much. I stood up, grabbing his hands and helping him up. I turned his body to face the mirror, standing beside him. I grabbed the pen that I knew he had stuck down his throat to throw up. After I washed it, I opened it up and started drawing him.

              First, I circled the bit of fat he had on his stomach. "I love this. It means your healthy." I then circled his thighs, where he had a few faint moles. "I love this because it shows how much of a Leprechaun you are." I continued doing that, going all over his body until he was covered in red marker. I then stood in front of him, blocking the mirror.

             His expression was serious, since I knew it had taken a lot for him to understand and process what i was telling him. "You know what I love most?" I asked, him shaking his head. I grabbed the marker, drawing a heart where his actual heart would be. It was a detailed heart, with my name inside.

"I love you most."

             I thought about why I loved him, and I knew I loved him despite his eating disorder. An eating disorder is characterized by abnormal eating patterns that attempt to satisfy a psychological rather than physical need. The three most common disorders are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder. Anorexia nervosa is characterized by self-starvation, weight loss, an irrational fear of gaining weight, and a distorted body image. Bulima nervosa is characterized by a cycle of compulsive binging followed by purging through various means, such as vomiting, laxative/diuretic abuse, and extreme exercising. Binge eating disorder is the most common disorder and is characterized by frequent periods of compulsive overeating without accompanying purging behaviors.

                   Niall was characterized by doctors as a combination of all of these. He wasn't suffering from just one specific, and he suffered from all three at various points in his life. I hated that such an innocent young boy had to stuffer through anything like this. I thought only girls got this, but Niall was more insecure than any girl I had ever met.

            I met Niall's eyes, right before he hugged me. "Thank you, Zayn. Thank you so much. Thank you" he murmured, his words going into my shoulder but I could understand the muffled words. I hoped he realized how truly beautiful he was. He leaned up, placing a kiss on my neck. I felt my breath catch before he finally pulled away.

"I'm going to shower b-but....After that could we....Go sit in the garden?" He asked, ad I nodded. "I'll be waiting."

　

NIALL'S POINT OF VIEW:

　

               I locked the door once Zayn left, and leaned against it, feeling my heart racing. My stomach hurt, and my skin stung a bit from the point on the pen, but I couldn't complain. Zayn was so perfect to me.

           Ever since Louis had moved in and started hanging with Harry, I always had to watch them change. Their bodies were perfect and mine was not even close. I was short and chubby. I had stubby legs and my hair wasn't even it's natural colour. My smile was crooked and I wasn't hot or even cute.

              I stepped into the shower, sitting down and starting to wash my body. As I did so, I looked at everything that was circled. How could he love my toes? They were chubby and I was so pale. I was disgusting. But Zayn didn't make me feel that way.

              He made me feel perfect. He made me feel complete. He was sweet and sometimes I worried about him. It was obvious he hadn't slept in months, and he hated socks and mashed potatoes and stupid little things like that. But I guess that's why I loved him.

That's why I'm in love with him.

Hello my curlies!

Just felt like posting a fluffer/filler cutesie chapter for the Ziall girls out there!

XX.