Crimson & Clover//AkashiSeijuroXReader

Wrong call

After getting home from Sasaki's, you took off your clothes and stood in front of the mirror picking apart your reflection. The girl in the mirror was pale in comparison to the girl you spent the afternoon glaring at. Your appearance was akin to a painting whose edges were smudged and the paint was bleeding out the creases. A full-on Monet, beautiful from afar but a complete mess when up close. Standing in your underwear you draw in deep breaths to flatten out your stomach. You cup your breasts with your palms and push them up and close towards each other to close in the gap and create a cleavage. You pinched your cheeks to bring colour to them and burrowed your nails into one side of your face to make it appear like a dimple. You fetch out a lipstick and rub it into your lips aggressively, then immediately wipe it off with a handkerchief. The lipstick left a red stain around your mouth. You try to smile with your mouth open and your teeth clenched together, there was some lipstick on your front tooth, you lick it off and try and smile again. But it only made you look uncanny, it seems you have forgotten how to smile. You'd pull your hair up and then let it slide down, trying to figure out which one made you look more attractive. You surmised that maybe if you dyed your hair a different colour suppose blonde, you'd look a little less lacking. Maybe a piercing or a tattoo would help too. Or maybe just a new haircut.

You went rampaging through the drawers, looking for a pair of scissors to cut your hair. You debated in your head if you should just cut some bangs or if you should chop all your hair off. Pencil colours, paints, crayons, pens, ink pots, quil, erases, markers, highlighters but no scissors. You found a razor blade but it was too risky to use so you put a lid on the box of your intrusive thoughts and went downstairs to find scissors after putting on a maxi.

No scissors in the bathroom only more razors, no scissors in the kitchen only knives. For once you considered using knives like Mulan used her sword. You tried to get into your brother's room but it was locked, he hasn't come home yet. You thread towards your mother's room and turn her door nob it's not locked. You peep inside her room to check if anyone's in there. When the coast looked clear you march in and go through her drawers with the lights still out. You find nothing but papers and papers and tons of papers in the first drawer, so you open the drawer where she keeps her architectural tools. You make as less movements as possible, there are a lot of weird tools in there, you recognise some of them and that's when your eyes meet the glossy pair of steel scissors underneath all those weird tools that you had no clue how to use. You wondered if your mother ever used them to torture men. You slide your hand into the ocean of tools and fish out the cold shiny pair of scissors. It was heavy and probably brand new. You settled everything back in place and shoved the drawer in. You were about to leave when you noticed that the drawer was a bit bulgy and didn't align with the rest of the drawers. You gave a few shoves to push it in but it didn't budge. There was something stuck between the drawers, so you opened the drawer again and a giant envelope fell at your feet. You knew it was best to keep it back to where it came from but curiosity got the best of you. Lately, you have been intentionally engaging with things that you know you shouldn't, things that don't concern you. The thrill of causing chaos was compelling. Once you get the taste of rebellion there's no going back.

The seal of the envelope was already broken so it was a piece of cake to hide the evidence of you ever reading it. You pull out the chair from your mother's dresser and turn on the bedside lamp. You carefully slip out the papers from the envelope and start reading it. It was your parent's divorce petition, you skipped through the pages and tried to summarize the details of the petition. You couldn't understand all of it and didn't bother to read most of it but got a brief idea that it was related to custody. You gather the scattered sheets and put them back into the envelope, you turn the envelope around and notice that the label on it was a bit crumpled. You straighten it out with your nails and see the date on it. It was delivered last week, it was a fresh petition. But it's been more than a year since your parent's divorce was settled. You bring the envelope close to your face and recheck the date again and again but it didn't change. You draw out the papers and go through each one of them carefully all over again. Your father has filed this petition and wants Seiji and you to live with him in Tokyo and complete high school there. He filed this petition after examining your mother's absence in their children's lives despite having their custody. You didn't know how to feel about it all. The petition didn't affect your life much, court proceedings are a lengthy affair and you'd probably complete high school before this case was settled. You thought your dad was being unreasonable and simply wanted to vex your mom. You once again put back the papers in the envelope and shove them in the drawer filled with papers and also return the scissors to their original place. Your episode of wanting to ruin your hair had ended. You came back to your senses and took a nap instead.