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Passing through the hallways, I halt when I spot Jungkook heading toward the exit. With hesitant steps, I follow behind him, unable to muster the courage to grasp his arm, perhaps for the first and last time. Yet, the realization that this chance may slip away forever ignites a fiery passion within me, replacing the earlier lost confidence.
With hurried steps, I reach out and hold his arm. A gratifying warmth fills my heart as if his arm were meant solely for my touch. Keeping my gaze fixed on the ground, I bask in this fleeting joy, yet a greedy longing stirs within me, whispering, "Just one glance won't harm him, right?"
Slowly, my gaze lifts, tracing the contours of his jaw, then his nose, until finally locking onto his mesmerizing eyes. His chocolate-brown gaze meets mine, confusion flickering before a spark ignites in his orbs as we make eye contact. ("Am I hallucinating?") Oh god, I could spend eternity lost in those eyes alone.
However, his gaze soon darkens with anger, and he pushes me away. "Hello miss??, What's the matter with you?"
Ouch, though no physical pain lingers, my heart throbs as if shattering into a million pieces.
Retreating, unable to tear my eyes from him, I flee towards the washroom without a word. Entering the solitude of the cubicle, my fists instinctively find their way to my chest, pounding as if to numb the ache within.
;:......................................:;
Making my way towards what I hesitate to call "home," I scan my surroundings desperately, searching for any reason to reconsider my decision. Fear of death grips me tightly, but this unrelenting pain seems to offer no solace but in its finality. The world around me appears lifeless, a cruel mockery of my suffering.
Entering my room, I seal the windows and block the bathroom door, ensuring no escape for the gas that will bring my end. With every task completed, I shut my door and glance at the clock. (There's still plenty of time before my mother returns home; perhaps she'll discover my lifeless body in 4 to 5 hours.) The fleeting thought crosses my mind—will she shed a tear for me? Perhaps a shred of sympathy will stir within her heart? Laughing softly at the notion, a bittersweet smile graces my lips .
Sitting on my chair, I release the gas from the cylinders, letting it fill the room. My gaze falls upon the group photo of our class, each face brimming with happiness. Fixating on Jungkook's smiling face, a smile tugs at my lips, yet a tear escapes my eye.
"You've been the reason for all my smiles in life. Even in death, I want to find solace in your face, how Pathetic of me."
A few minutes later a tranquil, sleepy sensation washes over me, a numb euphoria spreading through my veins.
Closing my eyes, I prepare to release my soul from this earthly vessel when a sudden thud jolts me.
"Y/N, please open the door!Please, open the damn door!"
Silence engulfs the room for a brief moment, only to be shattered by the same desperate voice.
"W... what's this? Gasp Oh no, no, no! Why is there gas here? Fuck!"
Thud... Thud... Thud.
Suddenly, I feel my body being cradled in someone's arms.
"Oh my god, no, no, no!, please stay with me. Don't close your eyes, keep them open."
Is this what happens when you're dying? Do you see the things you longed for in life when death beckons? I yearned for care in my life, and now, as I'm dying, they're showing me how it feels to be cared for?
Before my thoughts could drift further, the same voice breaks through the haze. "Please, come here quickly... Yes, she..."
But his other words blur into incomprehensibility, as if I were a child unable to grasp their meaning.
"What should I do... okay..."
Suddenly, I feel something soft on my lips, and air rushes into my lungs. (What's happening??)
With a gasp my eyes opens a little a blurry figure looms above me, and though I can't quite make out who it is, the only name that comes to mind is... "J... Jungkook?!".
