Cries Of Music

p-please forgive me

"but.....she is not completely guilty, Court thinks that she is suffering from mental illness and also she is a child so court make the punishment less for only 5 years and 6 months and she should get a therapy after the punishment, court dismissed" judge ordered his decision with powerful voice.

Wait what!?!!......but I'm not suffering from some mental illness that's not true!!.

"Listen, I know that you might be confused right now but the evidence were too clear it was an open and shut case, so I just helped you by this so that atleast your punishment would be less ok!!" Josh told me in acknowledgement.

It's kind off true though all evidence are
against me.

Cops came to me in hurry in their eyes and handcuffed me with a deep sigh.i didn't budge in that moment and excepted my fate. I know nothing can be done nothing will change now but why do that scene of my mama dying is keep repeating in eyes like hell loop.

I ignored that feeling and focused on what I'm going to do next.

Hmmmm.....maybe I'll wait a little for 5 years now I will be back again.

(A/N: ok now if some people are afraid of self harm or something you can just skip this now and don't tell me afterward that I didn't warned you)
After sometime:
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They bought me in this cell and told me the rules of this prison.

I sat on the Cold hard floor with a deep sigh.
Trying to calm myself.

My breath started hitching and eyes were blurring again, Walls of the cell were like squishing me and my whole body felt like drowning, I want to escape from reality.

I always tried my best I had a hope in my eyes but.......it all started fading on the day she died I told myself I'll never gonna cry but nothing worked. So everytime I try to stop myself, she come in my dreams where I always see her smiling face, only thought that come to my mind in those torturing–dreams are that I wanted to protect her, I want to tell her how much I loved her but my fate was cruel enough to take away that chance.It always felt like that was my fault I was the one who actually killed her not that man. I felt numb now, every feeling that I wanted to feel were just lost in this thin air. I always said to myself that everything will be alright but I am already gone with them only thing that is left here is my hollow-skin-shell which is numb.

I guess.....I'm a disgusting monster who killed it's own parents, I'm unlucky to everyone. Whenever someone comes near me, they only have to endure pain.

Disgusting earth's burden.

someone, someone please torture me so then I won't be a burden to anyone so I won't feel this pain.

Every part of my body was screaming hatred, towards myself. Only feeling that was left in my body was numb, I don't know what I was doing, but I started scratching my left hand vigorously without thinking. Skin stopped coming out and slowly crimson red liqued started spilling on my nails but I didn't stopped there. My face was poker and my soul was not feeling anything, suddenly without even realising blood was everywhere on my right hand but I was still scratching like blood thristy monster, that's what I was.......right.
a monster!!.
That's why every eyes in neighbourhood were watching me in horror because I'm filthy, disgusting monster, who couldn't even save its own family. Their eyes were like a sharp painful light that was digging a hole in the comforting darkness.

My left hand was completely soaked in blood which was dropping on the floor now I didn't knew that my hands started shaking I tried to stop it but my stopping was worthless.

I Didn't know what I was doing but it felt like every sound of the world has stopped only I was left in this cold lifeless World. I was feeling empty like a lifeless body. my right hand was working on its own like robot, I then untangled my steel clip from my hair and bought it to my left hand again scratching with it but this time more vigorously my whole hand was completely drowned in blood and my chest was tightening, I wanted air but when I tried to breath nothing was working I was not feeling any oxygen coming in my body, only emptiness was left in my body as I felt numb.

Then I crawled up to my small cold blanket and wrapped it around my body trying seek some warmth but I knew there was no warmth left for me in this world so I closed my eyes hoping that at least sleep would hug me, but I was wrong.

Hahhha...like all the time, my bloody hand was feeling weak and amount of pain was was not durable as there was very less blood left in my body.

I looked up to the bodyguard, and with all courage I walked closer to the cold iron bars.

"S-Sir my hand is bleeding, p-please help me" I asked him desperately.

"You slut, you think you can make me fool and escape this prison hahhaaa.....no you will regret saying this!!" He said with menace voice. I flinched at his tone

"I-i-i am so s-sorry I won't a-as-k you again" fear was clear in my eyes,

He barged infront of the gate and opened it with keys then he looked at me with cold smirk and locked the gate behind it.

"I-i am sorry p-please I won't b-bother y-you again" I begged him and bought my bloody hand close to my right hand.

"Hahhaaa.......I-i like your begging I want more of it moreeee"

Then he grabbed his belt stretched it to open it.

My eyes widened in fear but I begged him continuously.

He started beating me vigorously as I was begging him to stop that, I won't do that again, but he didn't stopped. every part of my body was burning as hell. the pain was indurable as every cut was spilling blood until my whole body was covered in blood and I felt completely weak and let him beat as my whole body was shaking. He was beating me like a wild animal and his eyes were blooming fear in me.

"P-pea-lse forgive me-e I w-won't d-o it again, I'm b-begging you ple-ase" I said as my eyes again started to blur with blood.

"I like your begging it's a temptation, I'll come here tomorrow again, but if you told anyone about this, you won't gonna receive any food" he told me with craziness clear in his grey eyes.

He then passed me a medical box.

"I don't want these ugly scars on your face clean it up so that you can get more ugly tomorrow ohhh....wait you are already ugly disgusting thing hahhaaa" he then closed the gate behind me.

I saw the medical box laying on the cold floor I didn't had the energy to even crawl back to it so I laid there thinking that if I laid there I will finally die and be released from all of this torture. I closed my eyes as darkness hugged me and suddenly every thing blacked out.