They say you'll never forget your first love. Maybe that's why I've kept this journal instead of burning it like all my other ones from when I was a teenager. It's battered and missing some pages throughout, but it holds the memories from my senior...
I finally ran out of room in my other journal last night. I couldn't even fit the rest of my details about the night out I had with my friends. I even tried to make all my words run togetherlikethis,youknow? But it didn't work. I had to end it without going into detail about everything. I guess that's a good thing, though. I don't want Mom to find that diary and read about all the things me and my friends do together that she doesn't know about. Which reminds me, I have to burn that journal before she does eventually find it.
I've caught her snooping around my room before, trying to find my personal diaries. She's found some of them and grounded me for what I reveal in them. So, now, I have to hide my journals in inconspicuous places -- like keeping it at school. But school hasn't started up yet, and it gets a little hard to write in my journal and reflect on things when my day isn't even over after the school day ends.
I don't know what I'm going to do with this one yet.
I know I ramble a lot in my diaries, but I don't want this one to be like that. I want it to detail the year I change everything -- where I finally break out of the chains holding me back. But what if I don't do that? What if I'm still the same person at the end of this notebook? What if the pages start running out, and I have done nothing important, worthwhile?
All these what if's plague me day after day. I know I've written about them before in my other notebooks. They always make a comeback. I guess if people in the future found these diaries (the ones I haven't burned) and didn't know who wrote them, they'd understand that all of them were written by the same person, someone who somehow always thinks of all these big scenarios and never actually lives them out in real life. I have become someone I hated in the
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I had cheer practice today. Caroline, the head cheerleader, got so angry today because none of us could perfect the lift for the upcoming competition that she screamed at all of us and then stormed out of the gym and never came back. Me and the other girls didn't know what to do, so we continued practicing until our time was up in the gym.
We actually got that lift to work once Caroline left. I don't think she'll believe us, though, when we tell her. She'll probably accuse us of lying to her, and then it'll go downhill from there, and I don't want to be part of that right now. I'll wait until she's in a better mood to tell her, like next week because her birthday is on Monday.
Jenny and I walked outside together after practice, her giggling about something that she could only think about. And when we made it outside, I was so surprised to see Lucas standing there, waiting for someone, that I tripped over my own two feet.
I hate to say it, but I secretly prayed that he was waiting for me. I swore up and down that he was waiting for me. I even believed it so much that I ran over to him and nearly gave him a big hug when he sidestepped me to talk to Jenny and some other girls.
