The Tale of Tomorrow (Gary, AYAOTD)

Wednesday, July 6th, 1994

Mom decided she'd pick me up today from cheer camp. Caroline would yell at me if she saw me calling it camp, but it's not really practice because we aren't even in school yet. But she wants us to stay at the top of our game, to be the best we could be at all times. I used to love that she pushed us to our limits. I used to love being part of the squad. I mean, I still do, but . . . there's just something sitting on my chest every time I see everyone, suffocating me until I can't breathe anymore.

Anyway, I saw Mom's car in the parking lot of the high school, and I knew I was in for it. She looked at me with such earnest eyes, ones that I unfortunately share, but I knew there was something up with her. Mom never comes to cheer camp, especially not on hot days like today. She would always tell me that she didn't want to ruin her hair with the humidity or ruin her outfit with sweat. But here she was, sitting in our car that didn't even have A/C in it, a grin on her face.

When I got in the car, she went on and on about how I should try to see my father more than the moments I look at him when I drop Megan off. I couldn't believe my own mother was trying to force me to spend time with him when she was the one who divorced him and didn't hesitate to tell Megan and me that he was scum walking the earth.

I had to humor her and listen as she pleaded and begged me to go see him more than I do. I had to listen to her talk about this man she had detested for so long, the man she never wanted me to see, the man she ran away from. I don't know how she even heard that I didn't go see him (probably Megan), but I do know that she had a sudden change of heart that was now affecting me. Like always.

This one isn't going to be long; I don't think so. I can't say too much. I know I shouldn't say too much. I'll never be able to say everything that lives in my head. I can't.

- Orchid, July 6th, 1994