angst and posted on ao3
-Toey kicked rocks with his feet as he walked through the park, filled with memories – the same park where Toey and Q had their first date. His eyes teared up as he remembered the magical moment of their first kiss, a memory he could never easily forget. His heart ached as he replayed these memories in his mind, but despite the pain, Toey couldn't stop himself from smiling a little when he remembered the laughter they shared and the warmth of Q's hugs. But as he thought about those memories, he also remembered the sad truth of their breakup. The park, once lively, now felt dull and empty, mirroring his inner emptiness.
The laughter and warmth of Q's hand in his – now just empty memories. The gifts his ex-boyfriend had given him still lingered in his room. He didn't have the courage to throw them away, not even Q's favorite hoodie, a piece of clothing that Toey continued to wear. Afraid to face Q, he made excuses to hold onto the hoodie.
Deep down, he knew he wasn't ready to move forward. He wasn't ready to let go of all the beautiful memories he had with his ex-boyfriend, hoping that one day, Q decided to give Toey another chance. Although, this wouldn't happen because Q had moved on, but Toey held onto hope for his wish to come true.
His friends told him that all he needed was a bit of time, but he wasn't so sure if that was the truth. He still cried whenever he listened to their songs and passed streets where they hugged, kissed, and laughed together. Toey couldn't forget about Q so quickly because Q was always on his mind. Not a day went by where Toey didn't wish it was all just a bad dream, a nightmare, and that Q was still his.
But he wasn't anymore, and Toey was afraid that he had to wake up from his fairy tale. He felt lonely, numb, and helpless. He wanted to go to Q's place, ring the doorbell, and give him a long hug like they used to when they were still together. He hated that he couldn't do those things anymore. Toey longed to turn back time, to relive those precious moments with Q once more. But he knew that some things were meant to stay in the past. With a heavy sigh, Toey wiped away his tears and continued walking, each step a bittersweet reminder of a love that was now lost.
-
As days turned into weeks, Toey slowly began to forget the memories. He no longer cried when he listened to their songs, and he avoided places that reminded him of them. Q's hoodie was now completely untouched, in the corner of his room. He finally realized that keeping the hoodie only prolonged his healing process. It was time to let go of the past and the future that Toey had imagined.
With a heavy heart, he decided to make his way to Q's, returning the hoodie. It was time to return what no longer belonged to him and to find closure in letting go. He wasn't ready, for sure. He still hoped that one day, their paths would cross and they would be fine. Nevertheless, it was time for Toey to start healing. The love he had for Q never faded away and it's likely to remain unchanged in the future.
"Oh, N'Toey! Hello, what brings you here?" Q stammered, confused as to why his ex-boyfriend had decided to visit him. After a minute of awkward silence, with Toey simply staring at Q, he finally spoke up, "Hello P'Q. Toey is here to return your hoodie." Q blinked, taken aback by Toey's unexpected appearance and the mention of the hoodie. He had forgotten all about it.
As Toey handed over the hoodie, his fingers brushed against his ex's for a brief moment, sending a sudden rush of mixed emotions through him. "Thanks," Q managed to say, his voice barely above a whisper. He couldn't bring himself to look Toey in the eye, afraid that meeting Toey's sad gaze would tempt him to invite Toey to his house.
"Yeah..." Toey paused, searching for the right words. Unsure if it was the appropriate moment to tell him how he felt; that he still missed Q. "Toey noticed it in my room. Toey hasn't worn it in over a month and thought you might want it back. It's all washed up. Promise."
"Oh. Thanks."
A moment of silence followed. Then, Q began to ask, "Are you alright, N'Toey?" Despite their past, he still cared deeply for Toey. Even though he no longer had any romantic feelings for him, he would always care. "Toey is alright. Why do you ask?" Toey responded, furrowing his brow in confusion.
"I mean... We haven't seen each other in a while, and you're here without even saying anything. Are you over me?" Q attempted to lighten the mood with a joke, but Toey remained serious. "Almost."
Toey's response caught Q off guard, leaving him puzzled. "Huh, what do you mean?"
"Toey is almost over P'Q. You'll always have my heart. But Toey is finally trying to move on because Toey is finally accepting that you're not coming back."
Q's heart sank as the words sank in. He struggled to find a response, realizing that he had hurt Toey deeply. "Toey, I..." Q's voice faded away, carrying with it regret and a feeling of emptiness. "I'm sorry, Toey. I'm so deeply sorry that things happened the way they did. I never meant to hurt you. I wish you nothing but happiness in the future."
Q lingered for a moment, his gaze searching Toey's face for any sign of what he might be feeling.
With a small nod, Toey turned to leave, leaving Q standing there, clutching the hoodie tightly in his hand. Eventually, with a heavy sigh, Q turned towards his front door and whispered to himself,
"Take care, my favorite person."
YOU ARE READING
one shots - thai BL/GL
Fanfictionmlm + wlw akkayan, tinngun, inkpa, etc... (lowercase intended)