all the things i'll never say

𝒊𝒇 𝒊 𝒅𝒊𝒆

you can probably already tell by the title that this song is depressing so read at your own risk <3

⋆°•☁︎⋆

[verse 1]

black hair, brown eyes tinted red

i'm replaying everything that you said

and i know that it's probably all my fault

i just wish i knew what i did wrong

i'll laugh, big smile, say i'm fine

but really i'm just dying inside

and it's harder to explain why i'm sad

so i keep it to myself and smile and laugh

[pre-chorus]

and i guess i just thought it'd have to get better

stupid me, i should've known

and it's been a while since i know i've last smiled

"happiness" ... oh what a joke

[chorus]

so if i were to die tonight,

would you be alright?

and if i were to take my life,

would you even cry?

i'm sorry i'm not who you wanted me to be

i hope that you're so much happier without me

[verse 2]

"don't worry, it's gonna be okay"

empty promises that won't come true

you say that 'cause it's not happening to you

i'm good at lying but i wish i didn't have to

would you be happy with our last words?

or would you have understood that it hurts?

if you could read my mind, you'd be in tears

cause you don't know much i don't wanna be here

[pre-chorus]

and i guess i just thought this was temporary

naïve me, i fell for it

and it's been a while since i actually felt happy

"i'm sorry" ... what does that do?

[chorus]

so if i were to die tonight,

would you be alright?

and if i were to take my life,

would you even cry?

i know that i'm someone you don't want me to be

i swear that i'm leaving so you'll be more happy

[bridge]

oh, oh, oh

so who'd you think would come to my funeral?

did you even care or was i just invisible?

do i ever even cross your mind or am i just a shadow trailing behind

would you deliver a eulogy or just forget about me?

guess i just want to know who would show up

i need to know who'd care that much

i'm sorry i just wasn't good enough

[outro]

so if i were to die tonight,

i know you'd be alright

and if i were to take my life,

i know you wouldn't cry

'cause you're so much stronger than i could ever be

i wish you the best... i know you'll be so happy

⋆°•☁︎⋆

lol i don't really know what to say for this one. i guess it's one of more important things i'll never actually say out loud. i feel like it's short and simple and says everything i want to.

anyways spring break ends for me on tuesday (wtf) why is moving so fast this year??? ugh physics is going to be the death of me (ahahaa get it cause it's called if i die- sorry i'll go.)

welp next weeks song is called november:

"now i'm spending all my days packing memories into boxes"

xoxo love u.