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( ♰ ) . • ˚ ━━ GHOSTIN !
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I didn't know it at the time, but when Shoko had left us standing in front of our apartment complex, she was on her way to Satoru's to tell him what she had learned.
When I got back into my room, sliding down the door with a hollow expression, the words of everyone finally seeped in. Choso's sadness. Satoru's worry. Shoko's anger ━ the disappointment she felt toward me when she had learned what I had done.
The bitterness came when I realized she was right. I had spent so much time digging myself deeper and deeper into this pit of lonesome and despair, slowly destroying myself, that I failed to realize that I was destroying those around me as well.
I've been around addiction my whole life. I think everybody is addicted to something. I feel as though I've watched myself in the third person, losing sight of who I am after drowning myself in substances.
People harbor addictions when they are discontent with their lives, seeing these vices as salvation in the solitude they've enslaved themselves in. It only made sense. How could they refuse the things that make them so happy? The answer was, they don't.
If you're living your life, seeing it in grey scale, it's only natural for your mind and body to yearn for those flashes of color. But as you feed yourself it, you start to build a tolerance and it loses its value. It stops being enough.
