(TW: Tic attack)
I groaned as I opened the door to mine and Jacks room. Throwing my axes to the side. Stumbling my way over to the bed and into Jacks arms.
Jack jumped awake because of that, slowly putting his arm around me. "God damn it Toby.. You scared me.." He said in a sleepy tone.
"Sorry." I said, nuzzling up against him.
I heard him sniffing my hoodie, backing away once he smelt it. "Go change and take a shower.. I can't be around you well your like that." He said, lightly nudging me to get up.
I whined at him. "Whyy.? I wanna sleep.." I said, looking at him.
"You smell like blood." He said. "Go change a shower." He said once more, this time more stern than the last.
I sighed as I stood up, going to take a shower. Grabbing myself new clothes on my way. I locked the bathroom door behind me as I entered. Starting to process of striping and starting the shower.
Once the shower was warm enough, I got in. Sitting down on the ground, curling up into a ball as the water hit my back.
I tried my best to just remain calm, trying to just enjoy the warmth of the shower. But the thought of the night before hand kept trying to creep in..
The guilt I always felt after killing people.. I wish I could do it as easily as the others could.. It never seems to bother them.. Yet I always get so worked up about it after words..
Even Jack. He's seems to do it with ease. Not even seeming to think about it..
I could feel myself shaking at this point, in return, my tics started acting up again. Which, didn't help me trying to calm down.
I reached up to turn the shower off, now letting myself just sit there in the cold air. Trying my best to gather the strength to stand.
I felt tears run down my checks as I sat there. Struggling to even get my body to move the way I wanted.
"Jack!" I called out in a desperate attempt for help.
I could hear the doorknob being messed with. "Toby? Are you okay?" I heard Jack speaking from the other side.
"G-Give me a second.." I said, slowly getting my legs to stand. Using enough strength to get myself on the floor in front of the shower. Grabbing a towel a wrapping it around myself.
I reached over and turned the lock on the door. Which Jack came flying in from. He looked worried, turning his head all around the room.
"I'm down here.." I spoke through the serpent moves my body was moving.
He turned his head in my direction, getting down on the ground in front of me. He pulled me closer, but still to the point my body was able to jerk the way it needed too.
I felt him run one of his hands through my hair, trying his best to help in anyway he could.
I always feel embarrassed in situations like this.. My tics.. Mostly the verbal ones are embarrassing. When I was younger, kids would often keep saying words to me over and over again. Knowing it would most likely cause in my tics making me say those words.
"M-Mh.. Mommy- Mm." I ticked out, my head jerking around a bit as I spoke.
Jack moved his hand away as my head ticked, moving it back once my head wasn't twitching about.
"It's okay.. I'm here Toby.." He spoke softly.
-30 minutes later-
Jack was holding me chest his chest.. My tics at this point had been slowly calming down. They were still very much more noticeable than normal.. But not as extreme as they were a view minutes ago.
I stayed cuddled up to him. Trying my best to breathe.. Much like what my therapist would say. 'Breathe in. Count to 3, then let it out.' That was the rule I always went by.. And it seemed to normally work, so that's what I would do.
Jack seemed to caught onto the fact I was doing better. Starting to get plant kisses all around the top of my head. Which, did cause me to blush a bit.
