(Jin Guangyao/Reader) You're my sun, my universe

Chapter 16: Explanations

After the burning of Madam Yupin's SUNLIGHT brothel, Jin Guangyao was shocked to learn that the residents of Madam Rong's MOONLIGHT brothel resided there that evening. He had gone through painstaking descriptions to make sure that Xue Yang did not burn down the incorrect one, lest it would have affected (L/N) (Y/N).

It turned out that it was all for nothing.

Jin Guangyao was unable to concentrate for weeks after; his father had assumed that it was a sign of weakness for his hesitance to "get rid" of Nie Mingjue. For days he could feel the mistrusting gaze, along the impatience that was held behind those eyes.

Xue Yang could not be killed; he was the only way for Jin Guangshan to obtain the power of demonic cultivation.

Nie Mingjue did not make it any easier; his sworn brother was under the mistaken assumption that he would easily be able to overturn this decision to protect Xue Yang. However, Jin Guangyao was under no such delusions, his father had brought in another illegitimate son, and his position at the Jin Sect was more unstable than ever. One mistake, one mishap and he knew that he would be kicked out and left to fend for himself like a stray dog. He was almost certain that Jin Guangshan would find a way to make his life a living hell.

It was probable that Lan Xichen would try to aid him as best as he could, but he could already feel the gazes of contempt and scorn that would come if he were to ever to go down that path. Jin Gunagyao knew that he could not allow himself to be distracted by sentiments. His reputation, his position, everything he had painstakingly worked for in the past couple of years could come undone.

All the blood he had to spill.

All the pain and despair he caused.

All of it...worthless if he fell here.

He would lose everything he worked so hard for.

And yet...

As he imagined (L/N) (Y/N)'s body burnt to a crisp.

That same (L/N) (Y/N) who had comforted him in his biggest moments of weakness.

Who smiled, and laughed, and cried for him.

He could imagine it. Her tortured cries as she burned and breathed her last breath.

No. No. Please stop.

He couldn't concentrate.

***

(L/N) (Y/N) would have wanted him to continue his life.

He knew that.

She was always selfless like that.

Even after he had treated her so coldly...he knew that she still would have wanted him to live a good life.

***

And so...Jin Guangyao tried to mediate between the two parties. He truly did.

He tried to reason with Nie Mingjue.

He tried to make his stubborn sworn brother see his side.

He had even gone through the effort of playing Cleansing for him.

But all of it was useless.

To him he was but the "son of a prostitute"

The sworn brother he had respected must have always thought of him in such a degrading way, after-all if not then why was that the first insult he thought of?

What was the point anymore?

***

An all-encompassing anger. He had already cruelly killed someone he had held so dear to him.