Lily

😰Chapter 9 - Panic Attack😰

⚠️TW: SWEARING, DEATH, AND DEPRESSION⚠️

{Voices in Harvey's head [Harvey's depression] = Looks like this}

|STILL IN FLASHBACK. . .|

"My biggest struggle is probably the concept of death. Because one day, poof, you're suddenly alive whether you wanted to or not. And you'll put two and two together pretty soon and realize you'll one day die and disappear. You're just expected to enjoy and make the most the life but every little moment is counting down to death. How can you just relax? Sometimes I wonder why people aren't screaming and panicking. I don't think death will be that bad, but it's still a lot of pressure to try to make the most of every day, especially when you can't do the bare minimum and leave your house. After a certain point, doing just happy things isn't enough anymore." He explains.

The sprite's face is pale with worry, shock, and fear.

"Sorry if I overheard. You okay?" Harvey asks, even though he should be the one asking if he was okay.

"I-I don't know...this sudden feeling of dread just came over me.." the sprite said. "What..you said. Will we really just disappear one day? I won't be able to do anything more?"

"Well, yeah. What did you think was gonna happen? It's natural." Harvey said.

"I-I didn't.."

"Well, sorry. I didn't mean to make you miserable. Just stay happy and ignorant," Harvey says.

"Maybe it's for the best," the sprite says.

A wave of silence washes over them.

...

"It's hard to stop thinking!" She panics. "Why am I alive!? Why did you help me? Why me!?"

"Uhh, because I wasn't just going to let you rot in the cold air wearing practically nothing?"

"So you pitied me?"

"Yeah...I guess you could say that."

The sprite's starts to panic more. "My thoughts are being loud again!"

"W-well what do they say?" Harvey asks with worry and concern.

"That I'm gonna die soon! I understand what you mean now. Even if I have fun, even if I don't, it doesn't matter in the end, it's all getting closer!"

"I'm so sorry for saying all that..." Harvey says with regret and a bit of shame.

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" The sprite cries.

Are you just going to sit there and watch her have a panic attack? Do something!

Harvey walked closer to her and brought her in for a hug. The girl's tears soaked into his sweater.

"I-It's okay, I've got you," Harvey says in the softest tone possible, even though he's getting more annoyed by the second.

"NOTHING MATTERS! I CANT-" She cries, nuzzling her head into his chest.

"It's going to be okay.."

"NO IT'S NOT! I'LL PROBABLY BE FOUND AGAIN IN A COUPLE DAYS! I'LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO THAT AWFUL PLACE! IT'S NOT FAIR! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK! PLEASE HELP ME!" She cried even louder.

"O-okay, first calm down.."

"BUT I CAN'T, IT'S GETTING CLOSER!"

"Let's take a deep breath, okay? Just breathe in deeply when I say so, and hold it for eight seconds," Harvey says.

The sprite nods her head.

"Go. Inhale, and hold."

"..." The sprite is silent after she takes a deep breath.

"Once more-"

"Shh, I think I can hear your heartbeat," the sprite says, calming down. "It's nice, I want to listen to it more."

"Uhh, sure? You have my permission to listen," Harvey says confusedly.

"W-why do you get to have more freedom than me?" The girl sniffs.

"No one gets to choose how much freedom they have. I could loose it all tomorrow, kidnapped, sold, dead," He says.

"What about time? You probably have more time to live than me," she sniffs again.

"No one gets to choose that either. Again, I could die tomorrow before you. Car crash, poisoning, heart attack, aneurysm, bomb, shot.." Harvey lists. "You at least won the miracle of getting any life and even just a little bit of freedom at all. So I'd say you're pretty lucky, you have a safe home, and a... uh.. person who cares for you."

You're really trying to pity her saying you care about her? Why are you trying to make her feel lucky when all she's ever been seen as is a useless sex toy?

"It's hard to feel very lucky right now," the sprite sighs. "Especially when I know I've been rotting as a good-for-nothing puppet being controlled by someone else and I'll die like that to."

"Girl, I can't solve the mystery of what happens after we die," Harvey says, a bit of with irritation being more noticable in his tone. "But I promise you, you'll have a life worth dying for. Isn't that the important part?"

"...Yeah."

"Do you regret this? Me taking you in?"

"No."

"Do you think you'll enjoy whatever we do tomorrow?"

"Probably."

"Great. Then that's what we'll do. We'll do lots of things together. Anything and everything you want."

"Like s-"

"No."

"Hehe, had to ask."

"Idiot girl. Now," Harvey sighed, "is there anything you want to do in the morning?"

"Go outside. I've never really seen the outside world a lot," the girl says

"Okay then. I'll make sure you do that." Harvey laughs softly to himself. "Ah, I never asked your name."

"Oh! I'm Suki. You?"

"Harvey."

"Well thank you so much for letting me stay with you, Harvey," Suki smiles.

"You're welcome," He sighs. "So, uh, anything you want to do before I fall asleep?"

"Well, you won't want to do it, but I want to. I still want to snuggle!" The sprite smiled.

Harvey groaned in annoyance.

"Just as homies! I promise. I won't do anything weird, just let me lay down next to you. Please?"

"Well, I can't say no after what you just went through, so fine," He sighs. Harvey, although being uncomfortable and annoyed with the idea, makes his way into bed with Suki next to him.

"Could we hug? Please?" Suki asks.

"It's just a night. Why not?" Harvey says.

Suki smiles and wiggles into the space open in Harvey's arms.

Despite being a little uncomfortable, Harvey doesn't mind it to much, and both feel warm next to each other. Before the two know it, they've both fallen asleep.