Curse of Loneliness

To Be a Vampire

Quite unfortunate woman she was. Jeon, in her times of despair and unreasonable desires. Desires of love—that she already had. Desires of a company—that she already had.

An unfortunate yet selfish woman she was. To leave her family behind for bats that whispered to her whatever she wanted to hear. How selfish she was, to leave her family behind for bats. "Euphoric," she wrote. "It's my fault they died," she wrote.

"I'll eat them."

"I can't bear to see them dead."

"I can't continue to see them like this."

"I don't want to suffer anymore."

"This will damage me and my baby."

"But I can't take it anymore."

Selfishness. That's the only reason that vampires exist. Because of selfishness. A selfish unexplained desire. A selfish unexplained loneliness.

What a kind of pain it is. To be a vampire. What a kind of pain it is. To be selfish. The reason that Elias is the way he is. Elias is selfish. Elias has always been selfish. Vampires are selfish.

Elias now knows. That he is selfish, that the only reason that he exists is because of selfishness. He understands now. There is no reason to exist. Cruelty is all there is. But he once again sees Xavier in his house staring directly at him with those selfish eyes of his.

"We are humans. Of course, we cause harm."

How stupid can he be, how selfish can he be to think that vampires are humans?

To be a vampire is to be selfish.

Elias can't sleep anymore. Not because he refuses to, but the fact that selfishness is his reason to be alive lingers in him as he tries to lay in his bed and close his eyes. He hasn't done that in a long time—to try to sleep the pain off.

Jeon's red diary. He still holds onto it, as he knows that it's the key to his truth. The truth that he was so willing to find out. The truth that he cannot accept.

Jeon stands there beside his bed, as he once again tries to free himself from the truth. That beautiful, young face, so like his. She knows as well that she made a mistake in eating the bats.

What is there to do? Is something that Elias hadn't thought about yet, as he lays in bed once again. Too caught up in his beliefs that he couldn't think about his life anymore. His life didn't matter, did it? If he were just to harm people? There was no reason to keep going.

His phone began lighting up, revealing the side of his bed, where he believed that Jeon would be standing—but she wasn't there. His phone vibrated, and he looked at his nightstand to see messages. He decided to ignore them. But as the room remained illuminated, he finally picked up his phone to see messages from Xavier.

"I know you're not feeling well." What a mind reader he must be.

"Could you visit tomorrow?"

"Me and Mildred will be at my house."

"It would be better if you were there."

The key to human loneliness: Get with the ones the ones that care for you—the ones that you care for. But Xavier must know very well that what he is, is no human at all. A vile creature he is and will always be.

But is there a chance to have that key to human loneliness? The one that could heal.

"It's worth trying." He messaged as he noticed that Elias had seen the text.

Is it worth trying?