Misunderstood

Chapter 4

I haven't talked to Jordan in 3 months . Him and his girlfriend must be happy with each other I'm guessing . But I wouldn't know . I don't have nothing to say to him .

I guess I'll spend my Saturday in bed all day . Jada has to babysit . And chloe is sick . She's been out of school all week . I'll watch some Lifetime and eat ice cream ..

I should get on Facebook . Even though its dead . When I log on I have so many notifications and messages . And guess who is in one of those messages ... Jordan . Jordan in boxed me . He said ,

"Hey can we talk ? I miss you"

What should I say ? Should I reply ? He doesn't deserve my time . He toyed with my emotions . But honestly .. I hate getting messages from him . It's like he knows the perfect stuff to say . And it messed up my day .. And that's when I text you back , and say ..

"I miss you too .. Call me ."

He called me ... He said ,

"You have a minute ? Why don't we go somewhere only we know.."

We went to our secret club house we made when we first met . He was telling me how much he loved me and stuff .. And I was so gullible .

"Stop .. You don't mean any of that ." I said .

"Yes I do .." He said .

"Prove it ." I replied with out hesitation .

"It's not that easy , Zhee ." He said .

"Why not Jaye ?! It could be me and you against the world .." I whined . "Just give it another chance .."

"Zhane .." He said .

"Jordan .." I said .

"Please don't make me choose .." He said .

"Oh , you don't have to .. I'm through with your little love affair -.." His phone rang . It said "Tori <3" scrolling across the screen . And the ringtone was Adorn by Miguel . He answered .. I walked away .. He screamed ,

"Zhane , wait !" ... I stopped and turned around . I'm guessing he accidentally put his phone on speaker but all I heard was ..

"Zhane !? Really Jordan , you blew me off for your ex girl friend ?!" Tori was screaming through the phone .

He looked like he was about to cry ... But I had to fight the urge to hug him , and wipe his tears away . I left him alone to think .

I walked a few blocks , then I caught the bus the rest if the way home . I looked at the time it was 10:56 . I completely lost track of time . The lights were on in the living room , my foster mom obviously was waiting for me .

"Where have you been ?" She said .

"At the park ..." I said .

"For 6 hours Zhane !" She yelled .

"I .. I lost track of time mom . I'm sorry ." I stuttered .

"I don't have time to be keeping up with your ugly ahh" she said

"You ever see those crack heads downtown asking me for money?" She said .

"Yes ma'am" I said .

"Do you wanna be like your mother down there ?" She said .

"No.." I said .

"No . What !" She screamed .

"No ma'am.." I said .

"It's only a matter of time before she overdoses .." She said

"What if defax came looking for you ! Then your ugly busted up behind gone be wishing you were here" she said .

She chuckled .

"You know something Zhane .. You were a mistake . I knew when your mother ask me about having an abortion I should've said yes " She said as she lit a cigarette .

"Your an ugly , skinny little worthless piece of crap.." She said .

"Your just like your father , stubborn . I'd really wish you would die . Lord knows I need the money .. Ha ! Maybe you'll see him in HELL !" She screamed as she started coughing from the puff she just inhaled .

I ran to my room .. I looked at the knife on my dresser . I grabbed it and put it to my neck . I don't have enough guts to do it ... I layer down and cried . I cried my self to sleep ... Praying for better days . I wish my mother wanted me . I hate my self .