Wonderland? Wonderland!

7.

The next day as I was getting ready for breakfast, I prayed to God that they had gone. Deep down I knew there was no way Father's drunken companions would leave in the middle of the night, but still I prayed. I almost thought the light purple dress felt too widowed when I compared it to the dress I had worne in Wonderland. But I shook off the thought and went downstairs, breakfast would be served very soon.

I sat down in the same place as yesterday and was relieved when Charls sat down far away from me. His behavior yesterday had been unforgivable, but maybe he had drunk a little too much and maybe, just maybe he regretted what he both did and said yesterday. I chose to take a slice of bread and some scrambled eggs. A small part of me also wanted a cup of tea, but I settled for milk.

While the man loudly discussed God knows what, I sat quietly eating my breakfast. But something was wrong. Had scrambled eggs really always tasted so-- So wrong?
It felt dry and bland when I compared it to Louis, not to mention it was yellow. But now I had to toughen up, I was home, this was where I wanted to be. Only when the men got up from the table was I pulled from my thoughts. I didn't know what they would do, but I myself would probably stay in my room surrounded by books.
"Are you coming Y/n?"
"Where?"
"Out."
Everyone turned towards me and Charls offered me his arm, so to not seam rude I took it.
"The men are going to play cricket, but would you mind going for a walk with me? I feel we've got quite a few things to talk about."
I couldn't answer before my father interjected.
"An excellent idea! Especially since
Y/n doesn't like cricket. Right Y/n?!"
So whit that I turned to Charles, put on a fake smile and said.
"That sounds excellent."
But before we left, I saw how his and my father shared a look....

We walked for a good while in silence before Charles began.
"I must apologize for my behavior yesterday."
I nodded before he continued.
"I don't know what came over me, I always behave so excellently."
I nodded again before he stopped. "Would it be okay if we sat here?"
He made a gesture towards a bench along the wall of the house and I nodded a third time.
Just as we sat down he exclaimed. "Please Y/n say something!"
"You are right."
"Huh?"
"You behaved horribly yesterday." Charls looked down at the bench and now it was his turn to just nod. So we sat for a while before he said.
"Thank you so much Y/n, shall we continue?"
"Sounds good."

So we walked, we went all the way to the duck pond, then we continued into the labyrinth. Only when we reached the middle of the labyrinth did we stop. We both stood silent and looked at the fountain. It was so quiet that only birdsong could be heard before I spoke.
"I think we should go back to the others now."
I walked a few steps before Charles grabbed my hand and said.
"Please Y/n, I, you need to know that--."
"Charls it's okay, I forgive you, can we go now."
"No Y/n you, you need to know."
His grip tightened on my hand and he pulled me closer to him.
"Charls let me go."
But he didn't, instead caressing my cheek with his free hand before hissing in my ear.
"I was serious."
"With what?!"
"I want you, I shall have you if that's the last thing I do."
"Charls let me go!"
"No one can hear us here sweetie!" "Charles!"
But he interrupted my screams with a hard kiss. Then he forced me to the ground.
"Charles please!"
I tried to get him off, I kicked and fought, but he was both stronger and heavier. He straddled me and grabbed my arms with one hand. Then he kissed me again. He kissed my mouth, my shoulders, and my neck. While his free hand began to pull up the skirt of my dress! I just lay there paralyzed with fear, but for some reason he stopped. He stood up and straightened his clothes.
"I'm a gentleman Y/n, if I'm going to have you it should be worthy, on our wedding night."
"I will never marry you!"
"It's not your decision."
"I'm telling father! I'm telling him everything you've done to me!"
But he just laughed.
"And who do you think he'll believe, me, a gent and the son of his best friend and business partner, or you, the daughter of a crazy woman?"

And I knew he was right. He left me in the labyrinth and I sat there for a while, I tore up the grass around me, I screamed, and I cried. He was right, it wasn't up to me, it wasn't my decision.

The rest of the day went on like a blur, and only when I lay in my bed at night did I feel safe. Now more than ever I wanted to go to Wonderland, so I did the same thing I did when I got home, I closed my eyes and concentrated, Wonderland, Wonderland, Wonderland and when I opened them again.....

I was dazzled by sun light, happiness filled me until I realized, I was still at home. I WAS STILL AT HOME!
It hadn't worked and desperate as I was, I cried. There was nothing else I could do my life was over. I would certainly have to marry Charles, I would never see Wonderland or Louis again.
I was still at home, it hadn't worked.