lunch.
they're talking
about a boy
and support
hyping someone up
delusion
fake
memories
they come back
spring break
march
scott's comments
delusional hyping someone up
got my hopes up
made me believe
brought my downfall
brought pain
brought suffering
brought anxiety
brought tears.
the memories,
his face,
his voice,
his name,
it's too much
its killing me inside
the anxiety eats me
the butterflies taunt me
the heartbeats scare me
"do you like someone?"
"yea"'
the vision haunts me
please dont do that anymore
please dont interfere
please
please
let me forget
let me forget everything
let me forget how to feel
how to like
how to cry
how to hurt
how to worry
how to love
how to exist
how to feel.
how to anything
let me exist as a being
not someone who can feel,
or contribute,
or smile
or frown.
let me exist
as something
that takes up space
because
even that
would be better than this.
