hi.
i know this is different from how i usually format these chapters.
but it's because im apologizing.
for everything.
even though some have made it painfully obvious that my apologies aren't enough,
it's the most i can do right now.
kal
im sorry for everything i ever did.
i tried to be by your side and understand your pain and trauma, but due to how i grew up compared to you, i could neither fully understand nor relate. i said things that should not have been said. im sorry for dwelling on things, and giving you the wrong idea of my feelings in the beginning. im sorry for insulting you and ally's relationship, that was completely uncalled for. im sorry for everything negative ive said about you. we all have our moments, and they can't be helped. you are truly one of the funniest people ive met, and one of the most meaningful friendships ive had.
ally
im sorry for everything that i said.
you had just joined ----, and so much had happened. im sorry for wrongfully blaming you for kal's doings, when you had nothing to do with them. im sorry for confusing you with my just plain stupidity and obliviousness to the true situation. im sorry for having said such things about you, and im sorry for trying to cut you off so suddenly when we were in a good place. i was having a lot of thoughts that night, and so much was happening. it was overwhelming me and pushed me to do things i regretted. i know that's no excuse, but the truth should be said regardless. you are soso pretty and kind, and i genuinely wish you the best in anything and everything you choose to do/pursue in the future. <3
sawyer + stella
im sorry for being the middle ground.
im always there for either of you at a single beck or call of my name, and i feel like you both know this. as much as i enjoy being the mediator and helping you two get over arguments and misunderstandings, it can be a lot. im sorry if i ever said anything to one of you to make it seem like i had a bias to one or the other. im sorry if i was confusing you with my help and instructions. im sorry if my agreement to what one said hurt the other. im sorry for feeling guilty to know both sides of the story and be unable to do anything about it. you two are some of the oddest (in a good way), upbeat, pretty, and fun people ever, and i hope you two can grow to understand and resolve arguments without my help. communication is key!! <33
rory
im sorry for my early opinions on you.
i will admit, that before i truly got to know you, i believed that you were just another one of the 'popular girls.' i didn't see you often, and i never really had the chance to interact. i had only known you for being friends with mimi and zoe, and who you had dated. i want to focus on the words i said earlier this year, and apologize wholeheartedly for them. ever since kal brought it up, they've been eating away at me slowly day by day. i am actually appalled that i said such things, and hate myself for them. i am sososo sorry for the words i said insulting you and your past relationships. they were actually horrible things to say and i i have no clue why i said or wrote them. i know that is no excuse in any way, but please understand that i am so horribly sorry for what i said. i was a horrible person and it physically hurts me to call back on the moment. thank you for helping me through my eating issues, and thank you for being so so amazing now. im so excited to go to itzy with you, and you are deadass one of the most beautiful, funny, and realest person ive ever had the chance to make friends with. i hope that you see that too. <333
madeline
im sorry for everything.
i know you've said to forget about it and that its forgiven, but i am actually soso sorry for all of the absolutely horrible, bitchy things i said to and about you earlier in the year. they were actually outrageous, and i am so embarrassed by my past self. i am so sorry for all the pain i caused you. im sorry for breaking your trust. im sorry. thank you for helping me back to health, thank you for always being my no.1, thank you for being you, and thank you for giving me a second chance. you are truly my person and i am so glad i found you. from that first day in annies, to now. you have always been amazing. you are so pretty, so funny, so kind, and just the whole package. i couldn't wish for anything more. all of our moments are the best. they're always so memorable in the best way possible. i love you so much and im so glad we figured things out and got to where we are now. you are the speed to my run <33333
i know to some these might mean nothing, while they might mean the world to others; but, regardless, i needed to get these thoughts and regrets off my chest.
i hope i can make up for what ive done to everyone in this chapter and we can continue to grow as people and a friend group.
