butterfly 𐦍

🩰 blushing?

its been nearly two weeks since jungwon and i started getting closer. im currently sitting on my bed in my cinnamoroll pyjama after taking a shower. the day is almost over, as the sun starts to set. my window is open and i stare at the pretty view showing cherry blossoms, completely forgetting my phone thats still on tiktok. after i snapped out of my intense stare, i layed down to continue scrolling on my foryoupage. a few minutes later i get a text message from my sister with a linked video, saying "hes so handsome" with a few crazy emojis at the end. i click on the link she sent me, leading me to tiktok. its a jungwon edit, as expected. i watch the edit as a smile forms on my lips. why am i smiling?? i feel my cheeks heat up and quickly slap my cheeks to calm down. he looks ethereal, especially when hes performing. suddenly im immersed in watching jungwon fancams, i even forget to answer haewon.

while watching his perfomance videos, i get a message from him. i got excited so i hurriedly click on it to reveal what he texted me.

ijswannabeyrcat
hai nabi how are you?

bvtterfly
good, wbu?

ijswannabeyrcat
same here, i wanted to ask you something.
would you like to go out with me? as friends ofcourse.

i could feel my heart beating faster and faster after he asked that.

bvtterfly
but isnt it tricky? youre an idol and i dont want to cause you trouble.

i stare at my phone anxiously waiting for an answer. what if someone sees us and posts it? im afraid we wont be able to communicate anymore. these past days have been filled with laughter and happiness for me. everytime he texts me or facetimes me, i feel like dying because of how funny he is. and handsome. im not crushing on him though, i think most people would feel like that after getting close to someone like him. his dimples are out of the world, just like his unique voice. i love hearing him sing my fav songs. it hasnt even been two weeks, but it feels like were childhood bestfriends because of how safe he makes me feel.

ijswannabeyrcat
we will take care. im not going to take you to a place with many people, dont worry.
even if someone posts a picture of us together, its not like were in a relationship. it wont hurt any of us.
just have fun and dont think about it!

it kind of disappointed me when he said were not a couple. i mean we arent, but i wish we were. wait what am i even talking about. i dont stand a chance, even if i had a crush on him. firstly, its too difficult being in a relationship, especially with a famous person. secondly, his company probably doesnt even allow it. perhaps, they dont even know that i exist and that hes texting me everyday.

—

im texting nabi rn, cause i want to ask her to meet up. i had to add a "as friends" at the end, i dont want to sound sus. its been almost two weeks since ive texted her the first time, and i dont regret it a single bit. shes making me so happy, havent felt like that in a while. being an idol is so exhausting, so everytime i come home from a long day full of practice and schedules, i immediately text her. i reassure her that we wont get in trouble and we plan when to meet. i have a full day off next week, so we decided to go somewhere quiet. i place my phone on the empty couch seat next to me, my friends and also members already looking at me.

,,why are you smiling like that", the oldest, heeseung, asks. i shoot him a confused look.

,,youve been starring at your phone like a creep for ten minutes now.", riki, our maknae says. they pressure me to spill out whos been making me smile and blush like that, so i tell them. i cant keep a secret from them, can i?

i explain the situation to them and how we meet, they then ask me to show them a video of her dancing ballet. i take my phone and go on her profile. i scroll for a bit until seeing a video. i havent even watched it myself, so now were watching the video together, everyone cuddled up beside me.

that girl is amazing. everyone claps and screams for her after the videos over, as if she could hear them.

,,manager-nim will definitely make you stop talking to her if he finds out tho.", jay says in a quite sad tone. i think they like her.

,,yes thats why im willing to protect us. would you guys have my back and not tell him? also i dont think shes ever gonna like me, so it wont be getting any serious. i just want a good friend"

,,are we not good friends?", sunoo spoke jokingly. of course they are. theyre like family to me after everything weve been through. since i am the second youngest, its very difficult being a leader sometimes. but everytime i thought that i couldnt make it through, they helped me to get on my feet again. every single one of them has helped me so much and i dont think they even realise. its just that i want a female friend, since we could need a little company from a woman here.