Vibrant Eyes | Din Djarin

48: life

Soft snores filled the silence before Ira observed Din closing the door to the room he shared with Grogu.

Just as they did every night, he rounded the small table to sit in his seat by the wall. He sighed and she ran her eyes over the slashes and mist that made up his outline. Especially that of the way he always sat sideways, just in case he would need to get up quickly.

Fondness was a confusing warmth in her chest, like a sickness she couldn't be rid of.

She was beginning to realize that all emotions were like that. Ira had felt nothing for so long that she forgot what it was like to feel. But she was learning. Every day she learned more and more about the depths of emotions she'd forgotten she knew.

Din sighed again, leaning back against the wall. The outline of his helmet tilted up as he leaned back and Ira suddenly yearned to know what he looked like. Even just the armor he wore, the color of it, the shine of beskar in the light, the black of his visor. Everything in her ached to see him, if just once.

It stole the breath from her lungs and threatened to suffocate her. Because that would never happen, and she didn't know why she allowed herself to keep hoping. This realm between seeing and not was all she'd ever known, and it would not be changing, no matter how she often wished it would.

The impossible dreams often came out of nowhere to remind her of all she could not have.

Ira forced a laugh at his second sigh. "Alright?"

"Tired."

"He does that."

Din chuckled.

Ira propped her chin in her hand and drank in everything about him that she could. The shift of his weight. The curve of his armored shoulders. But not the color, the shine, or the imperfections. All that others saw, and she did not.

She yearned to know if he was as beautiful as her heart claimed him to be.

Despite the silence that fell between them, neither made the usual move to grab the cards. Ira simply willed the best image she could conjure from lost and faded memories to paint the picture he undoubtedly made. She willed it into existence, willed it to show her his beauty so she could appreciate it in the way he often did hers.

Din, obviously, knew she was staring. He had to because she made no move to conceal it. And yet he let it happen with a feeling of calm that washed over her like a gentle tide, and a deep passion that heated her cheeks with the fierceness of the sun's gaze.

Until Din cleared his throat and she sat up, watching the image of patchwork memories she'd conjured fade away. She did not fight it, simply breathed away the pain of the attempt. Tried to make herself accept what would not change.

It would never be as real as he was.

"On Navarro... you said you met with her," Din whispered, voice unsure. Floating away at the end into nothing but mist, as if he were afraid anything more solid than that could come back to haunt him. "The Armorer."

Ira stiffened and her heart ticked up a pace. "Yes."

"What was it that she said?"

They were not oblivious to what this meant.

Ira directed her gaze elsewhere, but it did nothing to distract from his attention on her. "Precisely what you believe was said," she murmured.

Fear coiled itself around the frantic beat of her heart.

"You said no then."

"You hated me."

"I don't now," Din said, voice low and emotional. "Not now. Not at all."

Ira couldn't speak past the racing of her mind and heart.

"What about you?"

"Me?"

She felt him lean over the table, looked down and saw his hands by hers, and thought she'd never been so nervous in her life. "Was I your only reason to..."

I'm not sure it'll come to that.

Was that not what she said all that time ago? Not because she wouldn't want to, but because he would not. Even then, long before Ira as she was began to know Din as he was, some innate part of her yearned to know him. She began to care for him long before she ever truly knew him.

Ira nodded. "I wasn't... sure. But I thought, maybe... maybe it would. Because I would not..." She trailed off and cleared her throat, skin burning like never before.

But she forced it all away and willed her shoulders back, her head high, and her heart to still. She would not let this fear rule her. Nor the pain that whispered words of remembrance in her ears.

"Din," she said seriously. She felt his nerves as surely as she did her own. "If you intend it, do it."

He fell into a deep silence and the hum of his thoughts on her senses dwindled to nothing. A moment of silence in surprise, in dread, in panic. When he slowly stood from his seat, the hum returned all at once. It caressed her senses with feeling and thought, deep consideration and unwavering trust that nearly brought tears to her eyes.

Without a word, Din rounded the table. Ira blinked up at him, hands shaking where she held them tightly in her lap. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he lowered himself to the ground before her on his knees, their heads now level. A hesitant gloved hand lay over hers and gave a gentle squeeze, the kind of gentle she knew no others knew from the man. 

Her breath hitched and she swallowed harshly.

"Ira," he whispered.

Her name sounded like devotion from his lips, and devastation for her heart.

His hands gently encircled her wrists and she let him lift them, guide them, anticipation and curiosity bubbling in her stomach. Slowly, almost reverently, he lifted her hands to the underside of his helmet. With her eyes wide and chest heaving, Ira lightly wrapped her fingers around the cool beskar.

He let her go and stayed kneeling before her, helmet held in her hands. All of the power and all of the meaning for her to take. And he surrendered it to her with a thrum of passion caressing her own.

"You're certain?" she asked fearfully.

She knew how deeply he treasured his Creed. Even if she could not see his face, this kept its same meaning. Not to mention the implications of it.

By Mandalorian Creed, they were to be married the moment she lifted his helmet from his head.

Married.

"I trust you," he vowed.

She smiled shakily. "You shouldn't."

His hand fell to rest on her knee. "I know."

She loved him. By the Force, she really truly loved him. And she would give anything, do anything, to stay by his side forever. If that meant accepting this offer, she would.

So, she lifted Din Djarin's helmet from his head and bound them together for the rest of forever.