Not Yourself...?

Isolation (13)

3rd POV

"Shadow. It's been a week. He hasn't been eating enough, if not, not at all. I'm surprised he is still hanging on. Please come by, I-I just don't know what to do anymore. You know a thing or two about what he's going through, so I figured you could help. I've tried everything to keep him company, to keep him healthy, but I just can't." Tails sobbed into the phone, in desperate need of help since he felt himself giving up.

A green flash appeared in front of the weeping fox. "Where is he?" Tails pointed at the blue hedgehogs room on the second floor. Shadow walked up to the room and opened the door.

Except, it was locked.

Shadow rattled the door handle, beginning to panic. "Fox it's locked!" Tails flew up while Shadow was kicking near the doorknob to bust the door open.

The door opened, the creak of the door alarming its opening.

Sonic appeared to be resting on the floor, a pale fragile body with a bottle of pills on his hand.

Tails stared in shock, he completely froze. His eyes widened while Shadow ran towards Sonic. Shadow checked Sonic's pulse and looked at the bottle of pills. The bottle was more than half empty.

"I'm taking him to the hospital." Shadow announced as he teleported away. Tails only walked upon his room, seeing a letter on Sonic's bed.

"I'm sorry little bro. I'm sorry for everything, I know this was selfish of me, but I was being selfless enough. I can't live with this overwhelming amount of fear and anxiety and guilt. Their words of hatred are already so deep into my soul. And I know it was never my fault, that I should be angry at Eggman, but I've just lost so much hope already, how can I climb back up when every step I take I just stumble back down? I am deeply sorry. I feel sad when I'm alive. I haven't told you this but, a mother found my phone contact, I don't know how, but she did. She called me, then threatened me, insulted me, spat out her words of hatred for me. She told me, "I don't care if you were poisoned, hell, I don't even care if you were brainwashed! It was their blood on your hands." And I guess that just broke me. Seeing that no matter what happened, that I wasn't in control, it will always be my fault, and I just can't live with that guilt, the guilt from hurting people so much that all they feel is hurt. I don't want to say goodbye, I am not ready to let you go, but..goodbye."

Tails dropped the letter as his hands shook and his finger curled. Tears began to soak the letter on the floor as Tails stumbled down huddled in a fetal position beside Sonic's bed.

——————

Shadow stared at the steadily breathing body of Sonic below him. The room was cold but Sonic's living presence was somehow able to add warmth to the air. He was out of danger.

Shadow's eyes wouldn't move away from Sonic, feeling a tense of deja vu and nostalgia when seeing the ill blue hedgehog lying on the medical bed. He started to speak to him.

"Sonic, I don't even know where to start. You are so foolish and stupid to attempt ending your life over such shallow words from strangers. How did you let it affect you that bad?" He scolded him, unaware if Sonic was hearing him or not. "You...you have so much people that care about you. It is almost shocking. And instead of considering them, you consider people who don't and won't ever know the true story. People who don't even know you for fuck's sake!" Shadow stared at him in silence, silently hoping, awaiting, a reply. "I wish you could've seen the look on your brother's face when he saw you on the floor, overdosed and hanging on by a thread, maybe if you did, the guilt would've truly killed you." Shadow raised his voice higher, getting irritated but slightly sentimental in his tone.

"Maybe the sounds of his cries or the wetness of his tears grazing your skin would've been enough for you to realize that it isn't about you." Shadow's rising of temper in his voice formed to a quiet hiss. "Amy, Knuckles, everyone you care about and all who care about you, besides Tails, does not know about this. How will they react when they find out someone they cherish, overdosed over meaningless words of people overflowed in hatred and hurt?" Shadow began pacing around the room, now only ranting his anxiousness in a scolding manner to Sonic, who heard every last bit of Shadow's words.

"You're really bittersweet." Sonic announced with a quite raspy voice, feeling really weak and drowsy. Shadow's eyes widened as he scurried towards the blue one and helped him sip water from the cup that sat aside.

"Shadow." Sonic swallowed the mound of saliva. "I-I felt really hopeless. I felt so scared, so overwhelmed, I was just—" Shadow shushed the stammering one below. "I know."

——————

Some time passed and not a word was spoken since Sonic woke up, they both needed time to think. The clock ticked and tocked and killed the muffling silence echoing throughout the blue patient's room.

"I understand you." Shadow spoke, his eyes still seeming to be locked onto the floor. "I've...attempted...after Maria. Everything just went blank, even more, numb." Sonic's eyes grew, as he lifted his head and sat up with his hand on his lap that was covered by a hospital blanket.

"I understand you so well that that's why I was mad at you. How miserable could you have possibly been for the most cockiest and bright hedgehog to try to kill himself? It gets me mad, that you were throwing away a life full of love, alongside you, along with you. Not everyone can be so lucky." Shadow continued to scold him as he began to stand up to walk towards Sonic.

"I'm sorry...I didn't know you cared." Sonic said with a slight smirk at the thought of Shadow caring about him. "You're a good person, no good person deserves to feel that way." Shadow crossed his arms as he yet again locked eyes with Sonic below him. "So you do care about me...heh..but being for real though, it makes me feel more alive that someone so dead actually cares about me." Sonic teased with smirk. "Is that a backhanded compliment?" Shadow chuckled with a simper worn on his muzzle.

"Well, if we're being honest, I don't dislike you, I do respect your leadership, friendship, skills, etc." Shadow motioned his hand to shoo the air as he counted qualities of Sonic. Sonic smiled widely, trying not to smile too widely as he lowered his head.

"Hey..uh..this is probably too much to ask for already but can you please not tell anyone about this?" Shadow huffed. "I don't have any reason to talk about the past anymore. It's the fox who might or might not say anything." Shadow said in a gruff manner. Sonic's eyes widened, completely disregarding that Tail's might or might not say something to his friends. I don't have any reason to talk about the past anymore? I wonder what that means...Sonic thought to himself as he looked at Shadow sadly, soon realizing what he meant.