NOISE

23.

Minho jumped up from a nightmare, his heart was pounding against his ribs and his hands were sweaty. He struggled to breathe and his eyes filled with tears. Panic overcame him and he was searching his room for Jisung – he wasn't here.

He slid out of his bed and walked out of his room, his eyes darted through the hallway. His hands were shaky and he had trouble keeping calm. Seungmin's voice came from the living room and he rushed through the hallway, quickly pushing the door open. Chan raised his head first, locking eyes with Minho. „What's wrong?", he heard him say, his voice seemed far away. He couldn't answer, the words were stuck in his throat and wouldn't come out. „Minho", he heard Seungmin's voice try to reach him, unsuccessfully. Chan shot up and crossed the room, followed by Seungmin. Minho was clinging to the door frame, trying to hold himself up. „He's having a panic attack", Seungmin mumbled and Minho felt like he was screaming all of a sudden, making him cover his ears with the palm of his hands. He felt hands push and guide him to the couch, forcing him to sit. Everything seemed so far away. He squeezed his eyes close, trying to focus on his breathing.

„Lino", he heard Jisung's muffled voice, far away and yet so close. „Look at me, sunshine." Minho opened his eyes and looked at Jisung through tears. „Hannie", he choked out a whisper. „It's okay, baby. I'm here." He felt Jisung's warm arms around him, gently rocking him back and forth. He closed his eyes until his breathing calmed down. „What happened?", Jisung asked as soon as he stopped shaking. He shook his head. „Just a nightmare", he whispered, still not opening his eyes. He knew his friends were keeping an eye on him and Jisung, and he wasn't ready to face them yet.

„Do you wanna tell me about the nightmare?", Jisung asked while watching Minho change his clothes. He was getting ready for his last exams. Jisung had tried to change his mind but Minho insisted on taking them, he just wanted to get over with it. „I don't really remember it", he lied, trying to avoid eye contact. He saw Jisung's silhouette shift and cross the room before he felt the younger one gently push him onto the edge of the bed. „Look at me", he commanded and Minho knew he was caught. „Lee Minho", Jisung said, a strained exhale leaving his lips. Minho forced himself to raise his head and look him in the eyes. „When did we start to lie to each other?", he asked sharp and Minho's stomach did a back flip. Nausea overcame him and he felt guilty. He started shaking his head, slowly, while biting on the inside of his cheek once again.

„You don't have to tell me anything. Just don't lie to me", Jisung sounded disappointed and Minho didn't need a skill to know he fucked up. „I'm sorry." The younger one shook his head. „It's okay", Jisung lowered his body in a squat, being eye to eye with Minho. „The nightmare took a toll on you, you don't have to tell me about it, but I'm here, okay?", he added, raising a hand and softly stroking Minho's cheek. „I'm just so scared", Minho whispered, pulling Jisung into a hug. He felt Jisung's arms wrap around him and hold him tight. „I know. It's going to be fine, I promise."

Jisung dropped him off at the campus not much later, telling him he'd wait for him at a café around the corner. „It's better to be somewhere in public where they don't expect you", he had said and Minho agreed. He would have had felt better knowing Jisung was at home with Chan, safe and sound, but he couldn't change Jisung's mind for the sake of it. He walked into the classroom and took the seat next to the window once again, for the last time in his life. The professor rushed down the stairs, rambled a few words and turned the hourglass. Minho turned around the sheets and filled out the pages confidently. He wasn't nervous or scared to fail, this was the only exam he was feeling a hundred percent confident in and he was certain that he'd pass. His feeling didn't fail him and a little smile appeared on his lips as he worked his way through the first three pages – he knew the answer to every question so far.

The time was passing fast and he finished the exam in a heartbeat. He only had one left and he was getting excited about finishing college. His thoughts went back to when he started college with Changbin, they were so excited and nervous the whole day that none of them could eat. Thinking back to when they met Felix and how they adopted the blonde freckle faced sunshine into their group of friends made him smile. And meeting Jisung – not as pleasant in the beginning but he would have never thought he'd leave college with something as close to a boyfriend as this. Minho didn't think he would fall in love and be head over heels for someone this fast but here he was, thinking about Jisung around the clock. He just wanted to be with Jisung every second of the day.