Life Lines

3

Love is friendship. And friendship is love. That is what Aiden taught me. Being a friend to him made me feel what love is supposed to make someone feel. My day used to light up with just a glimpse of him. I would look forward to the part of the day that allowed me to talk to him. Everything reminded me of him. And yet, we were just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

That was all that changed. We were still always sitting miles apart. We never greeted each other like we did our other friends.

Over the next few months, we hardly spoke to each other. I could almost count all our interactions with just my hand. I don't think it was because either of us disliked the other. We both just didn't like each other enough to start a conversation.

But all of that changed when we both got assigned a spot in the school band.

Among the bandmates, he was the only person I actually knew. And I was the only person he knew. We bonded over that common unfamiliarity. We would be together throughout the practice sessions. I guess that was a given with us both being the lead singers but I'd like to think otherwise.

I wanted to believe that we stuck together because it felt good. I wanted to believe that he liked standing so close to me. I wanted to believe that he too felt what I did when our shoulders touched at times. And that he too felt sparks fly when our eyes met while we harmonized.

Truth be told, his presence gave me confidence. I had never sung in front of a crowd before. I used to sing for fun. But when the music teacher told me I had potential, I couldn't help but dream. About how my future could look if I kept singing. If I made a career out of it. And somehow, Aiden's presence made me look forward to it.

Deep down, I thought of how it would feel to be in the same band as him. To sing and live my dream with him by my side. It gave me an odd sense of assurance.

Aiden supported me tremendously. Helping me with each note when I faltered. I appreciated it. Soon, we began to get more and more comfortable.

I found us talking about almost everything. It was only natural that we did. We spent more time together than with anybody else. The carnival was a big deal and our band's performance was what everyone looked forward to. We had to practise every day, for as long as we could.

From classmates who spoke to each other occasionally, we became classmates who talked to each other all day, every day. We became friends. Really good friends.

I should have stopped there. I really wish I did. I really wish that it was all we ever became. I wish we only remained bandmates.

Maybe, just maybe then, I wouldn't be where I am now.

I can't help but wonder if things would end differently if we stopped there. If things did end differently, how different would they be? How much better would my present be? Would I still fall in love with him? Would I still end up heartbroken?

There is no way to know. I wish there was. It would console my heart to know of all the possible outcomes. It would make me feel better if I knew just how hopeless our fate was.

This makes me laugh though. Aiden and I didn't just talk all day. We did something more. It was our hearts that communicated more than our mouths. When we sang together and looked at each other, it was our hearts that started sprouting towards each other.

We would see our own reflection in each other's eyes when they met. That was how close we would be. We didn't have to practise our harmonies. It came to us naturally. I swear I felt something more than friendship. I think this was the first time I considered the idea of falling for him. It lasted only a few seconds. I knew I was confusing good friendship with love. I knew I was mistaking my own feelings so I stopped.