Chapter 1

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Sam

I had never done this before. 5 weeks ago, I would have thrown up at the mere prospect of what I was about to do. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the anxiety in my stomach churned enough to spew out of my mouth. I glared at Colby, wondering why I agreed to this, before swallowing, taking a deep breath, and stepping forward.

Staring straight ahead, I grasped the hand of the girl in front of me. My palms were probably sweating. I could hear Colby laughing from where he stood, further behind me, filming the whole thing for Vine.

"What the-?!" The girl jumped away, looking at me as if I'd lost my mind. Suddenly the anxiety I had been feeling dissipated, as I raised my arms in surrender.

"Sorry, wrong person!" I said, holding back laughter as the girl tossed her hair and stomped off. Colby ran up to me, red faced as he tried not to laugh. That sent me over the edge. I howled like a hyena, and Colby joined in. It was probably a weird sight, two teenage boys, doubled over in a random corridor in the mall, laughing their souls out of their bodies. "Okay Colby, you know it's your turn." I choked out. The sight of Colby's face was enough to send me into another fit of laughter. He had gone as white as a sheet, with an expression like he'd seen a ghost. "Colby, it's not as bad as it seems, trust me!" I smiled, "I felt like throwing up before, but look at me now!" He nodded, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth.

I thought back to a few months ago, when I was at band camp. I had already known Colby, but we hadn't really met. And then we became friends. Like that. I think it was a random conversation, after he had seen me staring at this hot, cool drummer girl that was WAY out of my league. He had said something like, "You like her don't you. Me too. I can't muster up the courage to talk to her though" I remember being surprised, but agreeing. We talked for a while, about how pathetic it was that we couldn't talk to the girl we liked, and how much of a bummer anxiety was. Then our band conductor told everyone to start rehearsing, so I had to go grab my sax, and Colby ran off to the clarinet section.

After that, we talked quite often. He was my 'band friend'. He became more than that quickly. We would hang out after school, and we decided to conquer our anxiety problem. Tackle it headfirst.

I looked back at Colby, "Come on dude, remember, it's all in your head." I stated, grabbing his phone out of his hands, readying the camera.

"Ok, ok, I can do this." I could hear Colby muttering to himself under his breath. I could see him looking over at this one girl, who had a guy right next to her, his hand around her waist.

"Colby, she's with someone?" I questioned, he nodded, smiling weakly, "Higher stakes."

I pressed record as he moved forward, quickly grabbing her hand. She squealed, as the dude quickly noticed and yelled "what do you think you're doing!?" I quickly stopped recording, shoving the phone into my pocket, running up to Colby in case he needed backup.

"That's my girlfriend you ass!" Colby backed up, letting go of the girl.

"Sorry man, I thought she was someone else" The guy closed in on Colby, looking like he was ready to throw a punch.

"Hey hey, woah, man it was an accident!" I said, quickly stepping in front of Colby. The girl placed her hand on the guys back, making him jump.

"Yeah, ok, whatever" He said, his eyes dropping, as he let his girlfriend gently move him away, shooting us a dirty look. My own eyes darted over to Colby's, checking to see if he was ok. I thought he would be upset, or unsettled or something, but his eyes were filled with mirth.

"That was thrilling. Sam, your turn!" I laughed at how unfazed he was,

"Dude, that was awesome, I was over there shitting myself watching." Our afternoon continued like this, until we had enough good shots for our Vine. We wanted to share our journey of getting rid of anxiety with the world. As I was laying in bed after, I felt euphoric, like the world was so big that nothing mattered to the point that I should worry about it. No one cared enough for me to have to be scared! But then again, no one cared.

Colby

I lay in my bed, thoughts and memories from the day running through my head.

The way Sam looked when he smiled, the way his fingers had brushed mine when he reached for my phone, the way he stood up for me when that ass of a boyfriend was threatening me, how we spent 5 flat out minutes laughing until our abs ached.

What the fuck. I didn't know why I couldn't stop thinking about him. I mean, I've never had a friend like this before, he accepts me fully as I am, and when we hang out, I don't ever feel stupid, or small. I'm usually preoccupied with joking around to think about anything depressing. My brain must like the amount of dopamine I get while hanging out with him, that's probably why he's running through my mind like a 24 hour movie theatre.

So that's why Sam is always the last thing I think about before falling asleep.

***

And the first thing I thought about in the morning was how much my alarm fucking irritates me.

I scrambled up, my brain reeling just from the same beeping tones. The daily pit had already formed in my stomach, triggered by my stupid alarm clock. It was 6:00, same as always, so, like always, I turned around and sunk into my bed straight away. It was like I was melded to the sheets, the warmth and comfort enveloping me. I wasn't sleeping, but I wasn't awake. But the guilt wouldn't let me stay, so about 15 to 20 minutes later I was up, tugging on a random t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts, grabbing my backpack, and pulling on my beanie that I had discarded onto the floor last night. I doubled back to my mirror, to make sure I looked ok. I didn't want to show up to school looking like an ass or something.

I ran down to my kitchen, putting some toast into the toaster. While I was waiting, my mom came out in her pyjamas and bathrobe, holding a cup of tea.

"morning honey, how did you sleep?" She asked, her voice rough with sleep.

"Okay, but the better question is, how did you sleep? You came home late again last night." I said flatly.

"Yeah, sorry about that, work kept me in again." She said, a look of sadness crossing her face.

"Yeah, ok." I said avoiding eye contact. "Is dad still asleep, he's meant to be driving me this morning."

"No, he's up already, he's fixing the car tire" I nodded, grabbing my popped toast and spreading peanut butter over it. I thought about the day ahead, and my stomach flipped thinking about Sam. I shook my head at my muddled thoughts.

"What?" My mum asked, looking up from her book that she had started reading.

"nothing." I muttered. I walked out to the garage, seeing that my dad was already in the car waiting. I jumped into the front seat, pulling my backpack onto my lap.

"Morning dad." I said as I buckled myself in.

"Morning son," I nodded, reaching over to turn the radio on. We settled into a comfortable silence, while the radio played crappy music. Catchy, crappy music at least. Sometimes these quiet car drives were the highlight of my day. There was nothing stressful about sitting in a car staring out the window. The only stressful thing was the destination.

Word count/1362 Time written & editing/1hr 24min

-writeforme2009

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