Best friend? (Solby/SamxColby fan fic)

Chapter 5

Tw: self harm

Colby

I wasn't feeling as bad anymore, you know, it was hard to in Sam's presence. I know it sounds cringy as fuck but he made me forget all my troubles even if they were about him. But I think he could tell that something was off, and of course that made him extra sweet and attentive. I was sitting in english, twirling my pen on my fingers and sitting in silence after our teacher separated Sam and I for being disruptive. I could practically feel the red mark forming on my face from where my hand was.  I started scribbling some random lines onto my page, attempting a sketch of a random person, keeping it messy and loose. With a flourish a drew the final touches before realising who was staring back at me from the paper. I quickly crumpled it up. How the fuck had I accidentally drawn Sam? I drag my hands across my heavy eyes, groaning in frustration. As soon as I moved my hands away from my eyes I could feel another pair boring into mine. I squinted at Sam, wondering why he was staring at me before he smiled embarrassedly and turned away.

My stomach flipped. 

Before i groaned again whacking the palm of my hand to my forehead. "You dumb fuck" My mind whispered to me, "Why would he like you, you're delusional" At these thoughts I could feel my throat tightening again and the pinpricks of tears forming at the edge of my vision. I abruptly stood up, before realising everyone was staring at me. I flashed a small smile, an attempt at a cover up, before muttering something about a hall pass and walking up to the teachers desk to retrieve it.  I walked out of there as fast as I could, my heart pounding, terrified of the thought of Sam seeing me like this. I ran to the closest bathroom stall and locked myself in, before sinking onto the toilet seat and quietly sobbing. 

"What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I so emotional over my best friend? For fuck's sake i need to calm down. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop. Crying." I put all my will into that thought but it didn't work. The tears were still pouring. I clawed my hands at my eyes, hiccuping and sniffing, unable to bear this feeling. My hands quickly moved from my eyes to my wrists, clutching my delicate skin between my fingernails, twisting and pulling, trying anything to distract myself from these tormenting thoughts. A spark of pain flowed through my arm, causing me to gasp with shock, my tears faltering, as I looked down at my arms, my eyes widening when I saw what I had done. I shivered as a small trail of blood slowly trickled down my forearm, in time with my heart sinking into my gut. Instead of hyperventilating, I now couldn't breathe. I just sat, staring at what I had done. Why? I was so dramatic, I'm not even suicidal? Why am I even upset? I slowly breathed out, grabbing some toilet paper and beginning to dab at the small split, hoping Sam wouldn't notice. 

There he was again, taking over my thoughts. 

"Colby?"

Sam

There he was, in the closest stall to the door. I breathed a sigh of relief, maybe he really was shitting. 

"Colby?"

I hear a thud and then a groan. 

"Oh sorry did I scare you?" 

My heartbeat picked up again, why hadn't he responded? And why would he be scared?

"Colby? if you don't respond I'm coming in there, and I really don't feel like seeing you pantless right now." I paused, with no response, I walked up to the door and pressed my ear to it.

"Yeah.. Yeah its me," His voice was tight and thick, like he was.. crying? I can also hear discreet sniffing sound.

"Are you.. ok?" I ask, leaning against the door, reaching for the flimsy lock. he coughed, before muttering,

"yeah, why? I'm just.. taking a shit." I feel the chuckle die in my throat before it even comes out. My fingernail lodges into the little keyhole and twists, slowly, unlocking the door, before I throw it open and stare down at Colby. 

And the bloody toilet paper he had grasped in his hand. 

A few thoughts ran through my head, one of them being "wait, guys can get periods?" And the last one being "Oh shit no no no, please God no." As I realised what exactly Colby had done. He looked up at me, sadness and shame welling out of his eyes, driving a dagger into my heart. 

"Oh Colby," I say, before rushing forward and kneeling down. I gently put my hands on his arms and looked up at his face. I whispered one word, "Why?" Colby looked down, shaking his head, his face scrunching up as sobs wracked his body. I didn't know what to do, so I did the first thing that came to my mind. I enveloped Colby in a hug, burying my head in his shoulder. I could feel his heart beat pounding against my own, and I pulled him tighter, willing to slow it down. After a moment, Colby laid his head against my shoulder, his hot tearing soaking into my jumper. "hey, you're ok, shh, I've got you." His breathing slowed down, and his heart beat began to match mine. I pulled back, cupping my hands around his face and wiping his tears away. "wanna talk about it?"

"It was an accident. I didn't mean to draw blood, I swear, please, im sorry," 

"hey, hey I'm not mad, its ok. But why?" His eyes flicked down again, and stayed down. he murmured something, but I couldn't hear him. I put my hand under his chin so he was looking at me, "I didn't hear you?" His face contorts into an incredibly sad mask.

"I'm ok, it's nothing important."

"It's important if it made you feel like this" I gesture to the state he's in. He smiles and shakes his head sadly.

"I can't.. I can't tell you, I'm sorry, but I swear, I'm ok." 

"Yeah ok. You are a pretty happy guy. so much so that when I saw you, my first thought was that you got your period." I joke, and Colby chuckles, a little bit of light returning to his eyes.

"I may be have a lot of things, but I sure don't have a uterus." 

"Prove it" I waggle my eyebrows as Colby slaps me, laughing. I help him clean the blood off of his arm, making sure to be extra cautious with the things I say, and once we get back to class, I refuse to be moved from Colby's side. 

I couldn't let that happen again.