Best friend? (Solby/SamxColby fan fic)

Chapter 6

Colby

I felt so fucking embarrassed. Sam had walked in on me while I was actively having a meltdown over him. How had my life come to this? I couldn't understand, why me? My thumb traced over the freshly formed scab on my arm as I felt Sam's eyes on me. I made sure to stare directly at the front, my gaze fixed on a black smudge on the whiteboard. I jumped as I felt a warm hand grab mine and guide it onto the table, a thumb running soothing circles over my knuckles. I held my breath, the physical contact simultaneously comforting me and making me more upset. I couldn't take it anymore, and I slowly turned my head to look at him. My eyes were gifted with the sight of his cornflower-coloured eyes gazing softly into mine. He smiles slightly, and whispers, "There he is," I muster up a small smile, my throat tightening. I need to get over myself. It was ridiculous, these emotions, giving me no space to think, or even breathe. I slid my hand out from under Sam's, turning my head to look away from him, fiddling with the edge of my book. I could tell Sam had no idea what to do. I doubt he'd ever dealt with self harming friends before, so this was probably new territory. My heart softened as I thought of how sweet and perfect he was. The way he comforted me had felt as though he had grabbed my heart itself and squeezed, yet it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I felt so safe, so protected and loved in his arms. Even just as a friend. I needed to learn to appreciate that. That is when I made the decision to completely bury my feelings for him. I couldn't afford to lose what we had. He was the the only person id ever trusted wholly and completely, and I couldn't throw that away because of some stupid homosexual feelings. I turned back to Sam and smiled for real this time.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, I don't even know what came over me, I'm not even upset about anything" I could tell he didn't buy it, but he wasn't going to press any further. He just nodded and continued to watch me.

Eventually our conversations eased back to normal, joking around and laughing, risking Friday detentions for the sake of fun, but it was ok, because it was with him. I would do anything with him.

Sam

I slammed the door shut, and jumped. "Sorry!" I yelled out. I hadn't been paying attention to my surroundings because of all the thoughts running through my head. I couldn't get the image of Colby sitting in a dirty bathroom stall with blood running down his wrists, and his face... I shuddered, I felt sick. I didn't want Colby to feel that way. I wanted to help, but I didn't know what was wrong. All I wanted to do was to hold him and tell him it would be alright, and have everything go back to normal, but I knew thats not how things worked. I walked slowly up my stairs, thinking, until I reached my room and dumped my school bag on my floor. I flopped down on my bed, hands raking through my hair as I desperately scanned my mind for solutions. What if he was doing it again, right now? How could I know? I sat up, grabbing a hoodie off of my chair, and walked briskly out the door. "I'll be home in time for dinner!" I yell across the house, before going out my back door. Colby only lived a few blocks away. I could walk to his house in like 10 minutes. I started to jog, terror running through my veins as pictures of Colby lying unconscious on his floor filled my mind. I reached his house way sooner than I expected. I huffed, my breath puffing out in front of me in the cold night. I walked up to his door before pausing. What if his parents answered. I turned around and went around to his window. His blinds were pulled shut, and I couldn't see anything. My heart rate quickened, and I knocked three times. The blinds started to open and I realised I was holding my breath. There he was, safe and sound. No new cuts, just his normal disheveled self. I stood there for a second admiring his blank arms, apart from the cut from today. Colby face lit up with confusion, and joy. He pulled his window open and leaned out.

"Sam? What are you doing here?"

Suddenly, I felt embarrassed. I don't know why. Why was I so worried? He said he was fine.

"Oh, um.." I was stalling, thinking of something to say, "I was wondering if you wanted to go check out that abandoned warehouse that the seniors were talking about." It was the first thing that popped into my mind, and I instantly regretted it. We could get in big trouble for trespassing. But my regret melted as soon as I saw Colby's face. He was smiling ear to ear, like I was used to.

"YES DUDE, I've been waiting for you to mention it so we could go. I thought you'd be too chicken." Sam smiled and opened his mouth in mock annoyance.

"How dare you call me chicken! I am not."

The boys both laughed,

"Hold up, let me grab a jacket and I'll be right out." Colby ducked back inside, turning his back to me. My eyes flickered up and down his body. I really liked his outfit, but I could never be brave enough to wear things like that out in public. I have no idea where Colby gets his confidence from when sometimes he can be more anxious than me. Colby grabbed this black aviator jacket and jumped swiftly out his window.

"Ok let's go" He said, dripping excitement in his voice and movements. I was so happy to see him happy like this, compared to the broken boy I had witnessed in the bathroom earlier that day.
So we headed off in the sunset together to go break into a broken down house.