Azriel x reader ACOTAR

Chapter 8- Haunted

This is a Taylor swift reference too ig LOLL
—————————————————————————
Azriel POV

My breath was labored as I stormed into my bedroom.

Thanks for asking for me.

I cleaned my teeth and took a bath. My hands trembled with need and my face was hot.

My cock ached. I was hard in my bath.

My shadows snickered at my state.

I ignored them, finished my bath fast before I collapsed into my bed in nothing but undershorts.

Her voice, her body, her face, I wanted to see more. The feel of her wings on mine. How her soft feathers tickled me. What face would she make when I sank my teeth into her neck? I wanted to see her breasts, her sex-

I let the thoughts at last wash over me as I fisted myself, alone and desperate. The thought of her lips kissing my cock like that finished me.

Release found me twice before I curled into a ball and stared bleakly at the corner through my damp hair.

I wasn't worthy of Elain. I'm not worthy of a mate at all. Rhys and Cass are different from me. Everyone's different from me.

I felt ashamed. Ashamed that she trusted me enough. I had done horrible things, I was tainting her lovely presence.

That was why I ripped my boots from her floor. Why I shut the door and flew off before I changed my mind. Why I didn't take her then, why I prayed she didn't smell the shift in my scent, or see the budge in my pants.

When was the last time I imagined anyone while I pleasured myself? Since I was forbidden from Elain. When was the last time I felt so horny? Since Elain-

I groaned and curled up smaller. My wings flexed over me, enveloping me. My shadows pooled around me, my loyal companion for centuries.

I couldn't let Y/N see my desperation, my aching desire and need. It was pitiful.

This was the position I would sleep in while in my father's basement. Back then, I had only myself to keep warm. To protect. To comfort.

I comforted myself now again. My eyes closed.

I was a fool for thinking I deserved anything other than shadows for company.

I awoke a few hours later, the exquisite dawn peeking through my window.

I rubbed my eyes with a groan as my joints popped from my sleeping position.

I sat up and blinked at my room, I was used to it now.

I washed my face in the sink, letting the sleepiness drain along with the water.

I was going to have more of a handle on my emotions today. I was an expert in reining them in. Why did Y/N have to be an exception.

Azriel.

Rhys voice boomed in my head as I slipped my Illyrian gear on.