After the War's End

Chapter 35

The next day, Avad woke up still feeling the weight of Aloy's body on his. She slept peacefully, with the palm of one of her hands resting on the king's chest. Carefully, the monarch laid her back on the bed and tucked her in gently. He didn't know what time it was, and he didn't care, but he felt restless. She had shared all her pain with him, and he, though he wanted to, had been unable to do the same. So, quietly, he dressed and left the house. The cold air outside enveloped him as soon as he stepped out. A shiver from the temperature change ran through his body, so he pulled up the hood of his outfit to feel more sheltered from the cold. It wasn't yet dawn, although the base of some clouds had a glimmer that suggested it would soon. He breathed, feeling his lungs cool, and walked slowly around the house, not venturing too far in fear of encountering something hostile. During his walk, he gathered several flowers that looked beautiful with their vibrant colors, and then he approached Rost's grave. The king looked around to see if anyone was nearby, and finding no one, he returned his gaze to the small monument. Hesitating for a moment, he then knelt, sitting back on his ankles. With his hand, he carefully removed the snow covering the small statue that Aloy had made the previous evening and placed the flowers beside it. He remained silent, looking down. Then, Avad took a deep breath and let out a long, profound sigh.

"H-hello..." he began, intertwining his fingers, resting them on his thighs, and keeping his gaze fixed on his hands "Ah... I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. I woke up because I dreamed about my father, I didn't feel well, and... I wouldn't know how to explain why, but I felt the need to come here..." he fell silent again for several seconds "I-I'm... Avad, I came from Meridian with Aloy because... well, I've fallen deeply in love with her, and I wanted to see where she grew up and spend a few more days with her before she leaves again for an indefinite time..." he said, feeling himself blush "The truth is, this trip is crazy, but I'm really enjoying it, I love this place." he chuckled softly. Then, he changed the subject "Aloy has talked a lot about you... She really loves you and misses you. I would have loved to meet you and talk to you more directly, and one day say, 'Hey, I'd like to marry your daughter.'" he said, deepening his voice as if replaying a dialogue "Maybe you could have even taught me how to hunt. But well, I'll have to settle for what she tells me about you, which is not little..." the king paused again, unable to shake off the strange feeling "I... I wish I had had a father like you... From what Aloy told me, you're exactly how I would have liked mine to be. Aloy told me that you watched every step of hers, protected her, and were there without her knowing, but... unfortunately, my case wasn't like that... It's been two years since... my father d-died, and... I'm still not okay, and... I guess I'll stay this way, but I'm the king, I have to be strong, I've always had to be..." Avad fell silent for a moment and took a breath to continue speaking "Days after ascending the throne, it was his funeral. It wasn't a very luxurious ceremony, because in the end, he was a... criminal. I wasn't there; in fact, I've never even been to see his grave... After "celebrating" the victory, I locked myself in my room for weeks... Marad even got worried about me... But nothing healed my pain... I wasn't just upset because I participated in his death, which also ate away at me, but... m-more for everything else. All my life, I tried to please him, thinking that I didn't deserve his love and had to work to earn it, and every day I tried to improve in combat, which was what Jiran cared about most, but I never got a kind word from him... I... just wanted him to..." he said, his voice breaking " like something about me..." he expressed, holding onto his arms as if seeking refuge and support "even if it was just one miserable thing... But he hated me... H-he never told me he was proud of me or... that I had done something right. I had my older brother, who was very tall, strong, with an enviable physique and great skill in handling weapons, and... he was also the one who was going to succeed him. I was just option 'B', in case 'A' failed, the... leftovers... Why would he want someone who couldn't fight? Even though I've trained very hard to reach the level I am now, what I was good at was art, painting, music, poetry... Those skills were an important part of me that he made me ashamed of. The first time I painted something and showed it to him... Ah... Delusional of me..." he sighed with moist eyes 'What is this thing?!' He yelled, throwing it to the ground. 'Stop wasting time! Couldn't you at least for a moment stop embarrassing me and be a little more like your brother?' And then..." Avad paused, biting his lower lip, suppressing his pain "he destroyed everything I had. Like a hurricane, he entered my rooms and looted them for anything related to painting, music, everything, and... piled everything in the courtyard, burning almost everything I had made, with me as a spectator. Only one painting and... an instrument that I still have survived... After that, he dragged me to my room, and there, where no one could see us, he... uh... he... he hit me. He didn't hit me very often, but when he did... uh... by the Sun..." Avad lamented, covering himself with his arms, as if trying to protect himself while reliving that moment. "A punishment that became routine was isolation. Many times he left me locked in my room." The king paused for about twenty seconds before continuing.