The Firefly

26°

I tried again to call Mattew, fruitlessly.

Esther's message: <Don't call me for a while, I need to be alone.> made me assume that she had finally known everything.

My brother had kept his end of the bargain, at least in this he had had the nerve to take responsibility. 

I sighed, putting the phone aside; now the two of them had to deal with it, and there was nothing more I could do about it. 

All that remained was to watch how the situation would unfold.

Uncle Barnaby did not mind when I called him to inform him that I would not be there at Christmas, I found out that he would be spending the holiday with Mattew and other distant relatives whose existence I did not even know.

I began to pace the room nervously, too many thoughts swirling in my mind to be processed accurately one at a time.

First: Now Mattew and Esther were likely to break up after so many years together.

Second: Jake had felt my kiss on his forehead and had said nothing until a few hours earlier.

Third: I was going to spend Christmas with that boy, and this, as proud as it made me, made me even more agitated.

"-I felt the kiss last night.-" since those words had left his lips I had locked myself in the room, painting, like a hysterical teenager.

Embarrassment kept not letting go of me, and every time I thought back to his smile I wanted to bury myself.

I couldn't sit around all day feeling sorry for myself, though, I had to go out with my head up high.

And with this conviction I opened the door on my way out of my safe place. I went down the stairs heading into the living room, not sure what I wanted to do either.

Jake was sitting on the couch, in the same spot as always, holding the usual green-covered book in his hands.

By now he was almost at the end.

-You disappeared for a while.- He said, raising an eyebrow as I made my entrance into the room.

-Em...yes.- I didn't look at him.

-How come?- He closed the book, raising his face to me and nailing me with his thin white eyes.
He knew very well.

-I... needed some time alone.- I sat on the same couch keeping my distance and he gasped at the ringing of my cell phone.

-Hello Nathan.- I mentally thanked that guy about eighty times for ending that moment of total awkwardness. Jake raised an eyebrow as he held out his ear.

-Hi Amby.- My friend greeted me, but there was nothing but concern in his voice.

-Is something wrong?- I asked and he sighed noisily, pausing a little.

-Mattew and Esther screamed all last night.- He said quite shaken.

-I didn't sleep a wink because of them, Amber.- Gareth shouted from afar.

-In the end your brother was kicked out of his own house while Esther yelled at him to go to " his Cassidy".- Nath added, confirming all the doubts that had been stuck in my mind.

-Do you know what happened?- He asked me cautiously lowering the tone of his voice.
-Gareth said it wasn't his business to tell.-

-It's a little complicated to explain, Nathan, but I think it's clear.-

-Yeah, well, you didn't have to be a genius to figure it out.- I shook my head, it was actually pretty obvious.

-Changing the subject: since you're a girl...can I ask you for some advice?- He suddenly asked me, I gasped.

-Nathan, who do you like?- I couldn't hold back a smile, Gareth shouted a name but Nathan seemed to turn away from him so I wouldn't hear.

-It's not... it's not important now.- He said, laughing softly.

-But should I be the one to make the first move? Do girls like that?- I smiled.

-I'd like that!- Gareth had joined him, my friend laughed.

-But I don't want to hang out with you, you idiot.-

-I feel hurt deep down.- Muttered the other.

-It depends on the girl in question, Nath. I think most like it when it's the guy who declares himself first.- I added, bringing my knees closer to my chest as I stared at an undefined spot in front of me. 

-So I should come out to her?-

-If you really like him in my opinion yes.- There was a moment of silence.

-Come on, Nath, will you tell me who she is?- I pleaded and heard him laughing on the other end of the phone when Gareth tried to shout the lucky lady's name at me again. 

Jake was listening to everything and seemed extremely upset, I decided to ignore him.-No, you'll find out in a while.-

-I want to know right now.- He said nothing, so he forced me to think.
I screamed causing the boy at my side to have a heart attack. -LEDA!- I leapt to my feet.

-You like Leda, Nathan!- I said jumping on the spot, Jake opened his eyes making a grimace as if he were in the company of a fool.

-How perceptive.- Mumbled the boy's roommate from afar.

-Be quiet, Gareth. Promise not to tell her, Amby.- I rested a hand on my heart.

-I won't open my mouth, I swear.- I promised. -But what about Vince?- I lowered the tone of my voice.

-I know they've been having problems as a couple lately, but I don't want to be a third wheel. If she's happy with him, I can't say anything, I'll wait to see how the situation develops.- I lowered my gaze, he was a golden boy.

-We need more guys like you Nathan Petit.- Observed Gareth in the distance.

-Just let me know how it ends.-

-If it ends as I hope, Leda will be there to warn you right away.-

When we ended the call I was even more overthinking than before.

-Your life sounds like a TV show.- Jake joked when he realized I was no longer on the phone with my friend, I sat back down on the couch running a hand through my hair.

I had picked up his habit.

-It actually looks a lot like it.- I joked as well and then shook my head. I didn't want to think about any of this anymore.

-I called my uncle earlier and told him I won't be there for Christmas.- I said changing the subject, Jake said nothing.

-How long has it been since you've seen your....your parents?-

-Four years.- He answered bluntly, I bit my tongue.

-And.. since when haven't you met them?-

-Three and a half years.- My heart sank.

-I know where you're going with this.- He turned to me, opening his thin white eyes.

-The answer is no.-

-But they are your parents.-

-They may be the people who gave me life, but they don't act like it. If you met them you would understand.-

-And then I want to meet them.- I shushed him for a few seconds.

-You aren't okay, Brat. Why would you want to get to know such insensitive people?-

-Because that's the only way I'll know if you're right.- I insisted, straining to talk to him informally; he sighed, exhausted from arguing with a girl who would never give up her idea.
I hesitantly rested my hand on his shoulder.

-I'll be there ... I'll be with you.- I reassured him by stroking it lightly, all that confidence made me uncomfortable.

-If that's so...- He exclaimed, raising his empty gaze in my direction.

-...then that's fine.-