The Firefly

33°

Once we were all seated the most awkward silence of my life fell, Mrs. Kim cleared her throat, breaking into a forced smile.

-Have a good meal.- She wished and we all began to eat silently, they all seemed to be acting out a sad script.

Jake, to my left, looked like an ice statue.

I could not remain indifferent; I could not.

Trying to control feelings was one thing, being insensitive another.

So, instinctively, I took his hand to reassure him and, after an initial gasp, his fingers intertwined with mine. -We understood that you were the one who insisted on coming.- His mother informed me, trying to dampen the tension that had built up; I nodded, hinting at a smile.

Jake seemed to sense my discomfort and, under the table, his thumb stroked the back of my hand. My heart missed a beat. -We thank you.- Mrs. Kim nodded toward Isaac, who looked like a statue just like her son.

His eyes had been studying me since I had set foot in that room without caring in the least about the discomfort he was causing me. They watched my every movement, my every expression and attitude.

We all gasped when Mr. Hale slammed a hand on the table. -Don't you think you're too young for a caregiver?- He blurted out. -In my condition, no.- replied the son without letting any trace of pain show in his voice.

I was starting to understand what the boy meant when he called his parents insensitive, I clenched my toes in disgust at that very un-light comment.

-And Amber is not my caregiver.- He said, filling the last word with hatred. The father rolled his eyes presumptuously.

-I find it really ridiculous that a boy with a lot of potential like you ended up like that, really humiliating.- He continued undaunted acidly, I watched him wordlessly. I really found that situation surreal.

-Isaac...- His wife tried to stop him but was silenced by a nod from the major. -If she is not your caregiver what would she be?- He asked referring to me as if I had been an object, Jake froze.

His hand was no longer squeezing mine.

Slowly he turned his face in my direction, his heartbroken expression breaking my heart.

And the worst part was that it was I who had put him in that situation.

His rosy lips mimicked a weak "Please forgive me," so weak that his parents did not even notice.

He squeezed my hand tightly, stroking its back with his thumb and causing an allergic reaction on my arms. -She is my girlfriend.- He exclaimed and, turning toward the two of them, raised our intertwined hands so that they were visible to the eyes of those present.

I almost choked on my own saliva as I looked at him with wide eyes. Until the end I had hoped it was the word "friend" that came from his lips, but by then his chosen term had begun to mess with my mind.

Hold the game.

I forced a smile while nodding. -Ehm...yes.- I trembled under the sweeping gaze of the man sitting at the head of the table.

Mrs. Kim's eyes sparkled even though she immediately hid all her excitement from her husband's eyes.

-Then I guess you prefer to sleep in the same room.- The man said calmly, as if to test us. I felt myself running out of air.

Oh no.

Isaac raised an eyebrow. -Any problems?- He observed our unbelieving faces with a keen eye. -No!- The boy and I exclaimed in unison, jumping on the spot.

So-min smiled softly, after all, I thought, she was still a mom. -Gwenda, Declan come here please.- She called without flinching and two boys came from the same direction immediately.

The tall, sturdy girl with honey-colored hair scratched the tip of her beautiful little nose upward with agitation. The petite boy at her side looked at us with his small clear eyes from behind a frame of round glasses.

-Prepare one room immediately.- So-min ordered and then cast a quick glance at her son. -On the ground floor.- She added. The two nodded and peeked in the direction from which they had come without uttering a word.

-How long have you been together?- Isaac nailed me with his gaze. He seemed to take inexplicable pleasure in making people uncomfortable. -A few months.- Jake lied and, as if trying to apologize, I felt his grip tighten around my hand.

I wondered if the contact of our hands was somehow instilling courage in him, so, for that reason and that reason alone, I decided not to push him away just yet. 

We began eating again in silence, there was every good thing on the table and yet with each bite I felt more and more guilty. Once in the room I would have to apologize.

Yeah, we were going to sleep together.
WAIT WHAT?
My breathing became suddenly and strangely irregular.
No, impossible. 

The idea of sleeping beside him was already making me nervous enough, plus my paralysis would only complicate matters. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the boy as I futilely tried to calm my heartbeat. What a mistake.

At the sight of his sweet features my stomach clenched releasing a wave of butterflies.

-You must be tired.- Mrs. Kim deduced, turning only a small smile to me; I nodded, placing my fork on the plate with a dull noise.

My hands were shaking. -In fact, yes.-

-Then you'd better go to bed, we'll do the tour of the house tomorrow.- The woman told me as she rose gracefully from her chair.

-I don't think Amber cares to see anything here.- Jake spat acidly receiving a tense look from his father, his mother jerked at her son's insolent tone.

-Gwenda and Declan should be done.- She then added, moving a small strand of hair behind her ear as she avoided dropping her gaze on the boy.

-Then let's get this out of the way.- Jake stood up immediately grabbing his white cane, disregarding the snort coming from his own father and loosening the contact of our hands.

I rose accordingly, offering him my arm to which he gently clung. -Good evening.- I wished those present hinting at a smile in the hope of looking comfortable.

-Likewise.- He pronounced not before analyzing me one last time. When Declan made his entrance into the room, he could not help but look curiously at the boy at my side. 

-The room is ready.- He informed us, making a small and almost imperceptible courtesy bow to the woman sitting next to Isaac.

-Perfect, please accompany my son and the young lady.-

She said bowing her head slightly as if making a sitting bow.

Leaving the room I kept feeling two pairs of eyes fixed on my figure in the distance.

The boy was trying to walk slowly to allow us to keep up with his pace as he led us to the room.

As we entered a long corridor bathed in half-light, I was able to catch a glimpse through large windows of the facility's inner garden.

I could not hold back an exclamation of wonder.

I was enchanted to observe what appeared to be a weeping willow tree in the center of that small, lush clearing lit only by the faint light of the moon.

-There's an indoor garden...it looks...so beautiful.- I realized I had stopped only when I heard Jake's breath blowing on my uncovered neck, my blood froze.

-I know.- At the sound of his dull words I forced myself to look at him. His dark expression was hardened, like marble, his niveous eyes slightly open were fixed in the nothingness before him.

I felt my throat dry up at that heartbreaking sight.

I decided not to add anything, I would only make it worse.