I was born with it,
Or somehow it feels like it.
A mirror image of my mother,
Never learned to smile as she never did.
If unhappiness is hereditary,
It was passed down from my ancestors.
Almost as if I didn't know how to be without it.
I always thought I would never be happy.
But I was. And now I wish I never had been.
I was used to the thought of never being happy.
Now that I know I can be,
I wanted to fake happiness as long as I could.
But I can't be that happy again.
They say fake it till you make it.
All this pretending made me forget how sad I used to be.
You are not without feelings,
You just don't know what to do with them.
Just the way you don't know how to pose in pictures.
Someday you will get used to that thought again.
You will believe you will never be happy again.
Maybe then you will stop seeking distraction.
Distractions can only numb you.
Truth is, you will always be overlooked,
The way you overlook your feelings too.
It's a pattern you can't break.
-11apr,2024
YOU ARE READING
Life till Death
Poetry"People are afraid to making bad things. I want to make bad things. If I keep making bad things, someday I might end up making something good."
