A Familiar Foe - Book 5

One or the Other (HELA)

I tired of waiting for Vali after an hour. I told myself it was only a lack of patience, when really, I needed movement to settle my anxious energy. With so much on my mind, it wasn't worth the risk of Vali sensing something strange with me anyway.

The trail back home was longer than usual, but I liked it. Everything was fuzzy. The leaves I'd crushed on my way to the Bifrost swirled in the wind and knotted my hair even more. It would give me an excuse to cloister up in my room once I got to the house and avoid Mum. Even thinking about her made my ears hot with anger.

Everything felt like it teetered on tomorrow. I took special care to nod at every bird and hoped they'd pass along that I was restless for a new adventure.

***

No clouds above meant the moon was oppressively bright and peered into the kitchen windows like a voyeur. Father, Mum, and I sat at the modest wood dining table and clanked utensils on our plates instead of having conversation. Father had an expression of distraction on his face like he was quarreling with himself, making him hardly aware of us sitting with him. Mum's lips were pursed tightly, holding in whatever argument she wished to spill all over me. Tiwaz helped calm my nerves by flirting noisily against my arm—he wanted a scrap of gristle from my dinner instead of snuggly affection, but it was charming anyway.

I thought about Modi's grand appearance and how well he must fit with the palace in New Asgard. He wouldn't look like an odd decoration—in such a regal place, he might not even stand out. Vali probably looked right there, too, unlike when he was here, dressed in armor and swishing that cape of his. It didn't fit with our meager surroundings. The house was small—too small, really—and uncomfortably cramped. Mum always said it was exactly as big as it needed to be and no more, arguing that more space would mean more things to clean and less energy for everything else. I hated that. Father was Steward of the realm, for gods' sake. We were the reason Narvlheim was settled in the first place. Why did we live like peasants?

Narvlheim. The word repeated in my mind a few times, like I'd never really thought about where it came from. One brother and not two. I took another slow sip of water from my cup and tried to coax my heart back to its proper place. Narvi was always on the tips of our tongues but never at our table. A stranger and a symbol, not a member of the family. His absence was a mystery to me; surely Vali wasn't involved like Modi suggested....

"I'm home!" Vali yelled, bursting through the front door without knocking. He practically shook the house with his heavy boots as he plodded through the main room.

Mum dropped her fork with a crash and greeted him excitedly. "My darling, you're here." She hopped to peck at his forehead and held him still by his shoulders so she could investigate him. "You somehow get taller every time you go away."

"Either that, or you're getting shorter." Vali chuckled and stood on his tip toes to be more imposing. "Look at that—you shrank a little bit just now."

"Oh, stop it, you." She hit him playfully on the arm and puffed her cheeks.

"Asgard suits you, my son," Father said, opening his arms.

Vali pulled him in with noisy slaps against Father's back. It was a caricature of friendly masculinity to see them together. Sincere, sure, but performative. Both of them concerned with how they were perceived, even at home. I'd caught the same bad habit and longed for a comfortable existence.

Tiwaz kept me paralyzed by the back wall, purring hard so I wouldn't disturb his position on my lap. I stroked him aggressively and tried not to sneer at Mum openly for so obviously favoring my brother over me. She fawned over him. Dripped with joy from her smile when he was around. His absences made his reunions an event I could never compete with.

Vali sighed with his hands on his hips. "And do I get no greeting from you?" he asked me with a careful stare. "Almost full grown and too good for me, hmm?"

I groaned and edged myself out from the corner, pushing Tee onto the floor with a thud. He trotted to Vali's leg to earn a pat before I made it to his side myself.

"Welcome home," I said, wrapping my arms over his shoulders for a quick hug. "I've missed you."

He lifted me off the floor a few inches and made me squeak in the process. "Of course you missed me. How could anyone not miss me?"

I laughed in weak protest. "Vali, put me down!"

"No, no. It's too late. You're stuck with me now." He quickly threw me over his shoulder, showing off his effortless strength. No matter how hard I thrashed for release, he was cool as ever and pretended I wasn't in the way. "What's for dinner, Mum?"

"Vali..." I grumbled.

"Quiet, you." He adjusted my position and turned to Father. "Please tell me we aren't planning on arriving at council an hour earlier than we need to like last year."

"It might do you some good to wake before the last possible moment." Father chuckled with his signature impishness, teasing in the same breath he told a small truth. "We'll leave when I say so. That's all that matters."

"Hmm...if you keep me like this, you'll have to take me with you to Asgard," I said, finally surrendering to Vali's grip and going limp.

"Don't be ridiculous, Hel. I'm soaking in as much of you as I can." Vali squeezed me once and finally put my feet back on the floor. His long sigh after was a sad song to my ears. He didn't need to elaborate—it was exactly as Modi predicted. Vali was like Father, like Mum, like all of them, certain my place had already been chosen.

"So, you're not staying this time?" I asked, twiddling a few strands of my still-ragged hair in front of my right shoulder. "Tomorrow, and that's all?"

"I'm coming back after tomorrow's council, of course. But life as a soldier is unpredictable. We won't be at peace forever. All of us have to be diligent and prepared for the worst. Word has it, Modi's report on the outer limits of old Yggdrasil will soon tell us if there are threats waiting for any opportunity." Vali pulled my chin up to meet his deep eyes. "You're safest here. And what kind of brother would I be if I let anything happen to you?"

I boiled inside. I didn't need protecting like a fragile flower. Was it cowardice and a secret that made him wary, or was he absolving himself of responsibility by keeping me under our parents' watch instead?

He tipped his head like a puppy and frowned. "You alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine." I sank away and rubbed my temple. "Tired is all. I'm going upstairs."

"Stop sulking, Hela." Mum bit with her tone.

Swords may as well have shot through my glare. "I'm not. I really am exhausted."

"If you say so," Vali said, absently unfastening his long cape to settle in. So much for soaking me in as much as possible; he'd already forgotten I existed once the reunion was over. His lifelong promise to me was empty; Vali left me behind long ago.

I fought back tears of disappointment and let the burn in my chest spread to fuel my rebellion. I was sick of this house. Sick of Mum. Sick of Father. Sick of hearing how everyone loved Vali so much. Now I had a new aim—a new house to fight for.

It was their fault for not appreciating me while I was here. Too late now.