Bella/POV
I was sitting at the edge of the staircase, in our school. Late na kasi nung nakarating ako.
I don't understand why but I don't have any energy to enter my next subject.
I feel so heavy, as always.
There are really some certain situations in our lives when you were trying to calm yourself down in everything no matter how heavy the situation was, but small circumstance is the one that tears me apart. How ironic it was, ano?
I was lost in my emotions once again.
I wiped my tears.
"Letcheng luha naman kasi ito, kailan ba ito titigil?" I said as I immediately wiped my tears.
Someday, I wish to wipe these tears with joy. I have been used in different kind of pain, so hoping ako na eventually, soon everything can be more bearable for me.
I stood up and started to walk just to gone nowhere. Palagi naman walang patutunguhan buhay ko e. Kailan ba nagkaroon? My life is full of uncertainties and drama's.
I just keep on wandering until I found myself inside the music room of our school. Musika talaga ang siyang sandalan ko.
I looked around and saw nothing. During class hours talaga walang tao dito. But I guess, there's a teacher na nag babantay dito. I look for the teacher's table, however, she is not there.
It's my first time being around here, actually. I just don't have much time to dropped by here.
I sat at the piano, and try to play it. I smiled. Music is really a great solace.
"Ako naman muna"
By: Angela Ken
Kada hakbang sa lupa'y
para akong inaalon...
At nalulunod sa
batikos ng mundo
Sa kung ano lamang ang kaya ko...
I started to sing a song, a song I always sing everytime I can't find myself.
Pigang-piga na sa mga problemang
'di masolusyonan agad
Parang wala ng bukas,
pwede bang umiwas?
Everything about these song was naturally made to help me get through my rough days.
Hinahanap ang sarili ngunit 'di na
Kakayanin sa ligaw na dinadaanan ko
'San na 'to patungo?
Lahat ng hirap ko, may pupuntahan pa kaya? Saan ba?
"'San na 'ko patungo..." I didn't sing it, instead I asked myself.
I've had enough already. Of all the pain I have inside—everything I've done for my mother. Where would it brought me? Or would it even bring me to somewhere?
May pag-asa pa ba?
Wait, I actually need to asked myself again. Did I really hope, for her love and acceptance?
Dahan-dahan nating simulan
muli ang pag-hakbang
Dahan-dahang tumingin sa salamin
upang makita ang ating kagandahan
