"Finally!" I yell as they discharged me from the hospital
"Lucky fucking whore!" Estrella rolled her eyes
"I'll visit every day" I kiss her head
"You better!"
"Keep that same energy and I won't" I point
"Shut the hell up, you gave me your kidney We're locked in" she laughed
"We really are" I laughed "see you later Diego" I wave
"Bye" he smield
I got an Uber back to billies house as she was at fins trying to write there new album and a song for the Barbie movie that's coming out.
I got home to see a banner that says 'welcome home Mari' and balloons all around the house
I poke my lip out and text her
(Maria's is in bold)
BILLIE🫀
'Thank you so much baby this is so cute!'
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I didn't know you where going to be out so early. I love you baby I'll be home in 15'
'It's ok ml, I love you too see you in a bit
Liked by BILLIE🫀
I open the fridge to see a cake
Imma cryyyy she's so cute
I grab grapes and go back to the couch and put on shameless. About 20 minutes later I hear her car pull into the drive way
"Billie!" I stand up from the couch running to hug her
"Hi Mari, how are you feeling?" She says in a soft voice holding into my waist
"Im ok, they took my stitches out" I smile "thank you for this it's so cute!" I kiss her
"Sorry I wasn't here when you came back"
"It's ok, how was fins?"
"Nothing for the album but we have some of the Barbie Song down"
"That's good! I can't wait to hear it" I sit back on the couch "you ok?" I notice she looked off
"Yeah" she sighed "just stressed, I'll be back" she kissed my head before walking to the room
Hmm
A couple minutes after she went into the room I walked in, she was in the bathroom with music playing and the door was locked which was weird cuz she never locks the door
"Billie?" I knock on the door soon after I hear a drawer slam shut and water run
Billies pov
I walk into the house to see Mari, that instantly made me feel a little better but I couldn't help but notice the build up going on inside me, I needed to release it. Before I brake down. I go into the batchroom making sure to lock the door and played music.
"Fuck" I i push my hair back trying not to cry "shit!" I lean agents the sink looking into the mirror
Do it do it fucking do it. You know you need it, you want to. Nothings stoping you do it. Fuck it DO IT DO IT
I exhaled sharply. Fuck it. Yes I've bin clean for a while but who cares? No one has to know.
Mari. She'll be so hurt, you wanna hurt her?
Your a selfish pice of shit. She'll leave you just like them. She doesn't want someone broken like you, she's perfect your not DO IT WHO CARES,
she'll be so hurt
I know the only way to shut it up was to do it.
I opened the drawer and take out a small case that holds the replacement blades for my razor
Don't do it Mari will be so hurt
You'll hurt her eventually so what's the point? Just fucking do it already, your music is over you can't write anymore, your done
I let out a breath as I dragged the cold meddle across my wrist
Finally
Billie no
I couldn't stop. I just kept going.
1 2 3 4 5.. 6
I stoped once I saw the beads of blood forming on the pink lines
A tear slipped out of my eye
"Billie?" I hear mari knock on the door.
I droped the blade into the drawer slamming it shut I then rinse off my wrist pulling my sleeve down before opening the door
"Yeah?" I smile
"You ok?" She smiled
"Yeah, my stomach just hurts" I shake my head "wanna cut your cake?"
"Um sure, let me just go pee" she smiled before closing the door
I walk back into the kitchen and pulled the cake out of the fridge
"Billie what?" Mari says as the end of the hall
"Hm?" I walk to her to see a small pice of meddle in her hand
Shit. Shit shit shit
My heart dropped and my head felt fuzzy
"Baby-" I tried to explain myself.
She cut me off my dropping the blade on the floor hugging me tightly
What?
She said noting, she just hugged me holing my head into her shoulder
"It's ok" she whispered kissing the side of my head hugging me even tighter
What?
I couldn't even say anything, my legs gave out and I just started sobbing falling agents her, it didn't even feel real.
"Shh it's ok Billie" she sat on the floor with me as I fell onto my knees crying into my hands
"I'm so sorry, I'm so so so fucking sorry Maria, I- I didn't want to. But it didn't stop. I just wanted it to stop" I said in between sobs
"I know, it's ok you don't have to explain it to me Billie" she healed me
I sobbed even harder when I saw the sadness in her face. I fucked up.
"Come here" she stood up pulling me up with her
She took me to the couch and sat down. I layed next to her with my head in her lap as I continued to cry
She just sat there stroking my hair watching as my eyebrow twitched or eyes shot to the side. But she didn't react, she was completely calm, not in a 'i don't care' way but in a 'It's gunna be ok' way.
My breathing soon went back to normal and i sat up cupping her small sad face in my hands
"I love you" i kiss her, a few tears falling out of my eyes
She kissed me deeply, full of love. Our salty tears mixing into the kiss
This. This is love
