Lost in Shadows

Chapter Fifteen

Anyone with a drop of humanity wouldn't have looked as proud as Lilith did at the moment. It was unclear if her reaction was because of her twisted revenge or that I figured it out. "Luke, you have such an imagination."

All I wanted to do was rip away from her embrace. Words failed me as I tried to comprehend her demonic nature. My fear and hatred of her allowed me to forget she was once human and she mght have forgotten herself. Too many centuries as something else. What she did was reprehensible to me, but to her it was art.

I clenched my jaw as I fought back my fury. "How many of her family died early? Did you wait until their lives were happy before destroying them?" It delighted her to make people miserable. "Did you kill Miriam's child while she was alive?"

That terrible thought only occurred to me now. After I gave myself to Lilith, I never spoke to Miriam again. Lilith took me away from everything I loved. Of course, I wouldn't want to be a shadow on Miriam's hard-won peace. Once, Lilith allowed me to see her on stage. Lilith might have hoped the scent of blood would overwhelm me and I would rip the crowd apart. I made it through the night and left, thankful Miriam never saw me. Another old memory came back to me, some time before the Great War, of a picture staring Miriam. I couldn't recall the picture itself, but the image of Miriam was burned into me. Beautiful and seductive, she was almost as much of a vamp as Theda Bara. I knew nothing about her life outside acting, but she was living her dream. That was enough.

After the thirties, I had enough control of my bloodlust to go to the pictures. Miriam wasn't in any of them. It wasn't any reason to be alarmed. Many actors never made it to the talkies. She would have been in her fifties at that point. My hope was she retired and was enjoying her family life.

I should have known Lilith would ruin it. Self-hatred clawed into me. If I hadn't been so self-absorbed in my early decades of being a vampire, I could have watched out for Miriam. Made sure she was safe from Lilith's schemes. I told myself it was for Miriam's own good that I stayed away. I had grown a little too skilled at lying to myself. Dark emotions kept me away. Jealousy that Miriam could live her dreams while I was condemned to the shadows. Unworthy anger that I sacrificed myself for her. Lilith often aggravated those awful feelings, enjoying my misery.

Now there was a century of tragedy because I abandoned Miriam.

"I did nothing," Lilith said. "When you pledged yourself to me, I promised I would spare Miriam."

But not her family.

Lilith cocked her head, her diamond earrings sparkling in the lamplight. "An interesting proposal."

I stood on a long, elegant table before this vampiric queen, as brash as the day I auditioned for my first play with no experience. Unlike that time, no mocking laughter followed. Terror had gripped me when I reached their stately home and my voice failed me when I entered. Before I realized what had happened, I had climbed up on the table to command their attention. If I pretended the table was a stage and the lamps were stage lights, I felt less like Luke Grant and more like a Van Helsing, someone strong enough to fight vampires. Red eyes seared into me as my dirty boots scuffed the surface. Not that it should bother them since spread out on the center of the table was a corpse. His dead eyes were fixed on the chandelier shimmering above us. Bite marks covered his arms and I didn't look too closely, afraid I would see someone I recognized. Seated at the head, Lilith only watched me. Her family sat there, silent, waiting for her command. I was stupid to come there, but no fool. In a second, I could end up like the corpse.

Not too different from show business.

Miriam leaped out of her chair. "Don't listen to him! He doesn't know anything. He's not involved with our dealings."