Ghostbusters One Shots

Sweets, Flowers, Roses (Ray x Egon)

A Valentine's Day Puff Fluff Stantzler Story set during the Columbia PhD years. c. 1980. Content Warning for Cannabis Use and Explicit Sexual Content. Violet Ramis said her dad Harold and Dan Akroyd were stoned when they wrote Ghostbusters, so let's call this a tribute.

It's Valentine's Day, so naturally, Peter Venkman has a date. He's got his hair slicked back, wearing a red plaid shirt under a dark blazer with a solid red tie. Red rose bud pinned on the lapel. Matching dozen roses for the lady, in a cone of crinkly paper.

He's taking out a fellow grad student named Claudia that he met a couple months back at a seminar. They've been dating a few steamy weeks and Venks isn't bored yet. They're going to an Italian restaurant and drinks after, at a spot with live music and low lighting.

Peter's roommate Ray is watching him get ready, feet propped up and reading glasses on. He's spent the holiday afternoon studying like the nerd he is, Venks has already been teasing him over it. To be fair, Venkman had also tried to set Ray up with Claudia's single friends, tried to drag him out on double dates, and even brought cute women back to the apartment to meet him. He wouldn't tease him without also trying to help him.

Venkman is the type of guy who thinks getting laid will solve 95% of life's problems and even though that continues to not be true, he continues to keep trying it.

"I can't believe you're hanging out with Spengler tonight when you could be going on a hot date, Stantz," Venkman pops a breath mint. "What about that teacher? Emily? She was cute."

"Emma. No spark," says Ray, trying to go back to his reading. He's looking forward to a quiet night in and is ready for Peter to hit the bricks.

"You need her to speak ancient Sumerian? Who's your dream girl, Ray? Are you waiting to find Egon in a dress?" Venkman is only ribbing him, but the image of his best friend and lab partner Egon in a dress flashes through Ray's hyperfantasic imagination and he feels Funny for a moment.

"What kind of dress?" the sneaky little back of Ray's mind wants to know. Ray shushes it.

The buzzer rings. Egon is here. Ray feels another Funny flutter, as though he's been caught out somehow. He doesn't know why he's embarrassed. No one knows what he's thinking. He puts his book and glasses aside, stands up. Peter lets Egon in as he goes out.

The last thing Pete says is, "Raaaaaay, your Valentine's here!" at top volume right in Egon's face to Ray's mortification. Then he's off to dazzle Claudia. Good riddance.

"Hello," Spengler says, entering. He looks neat and professorial. Only Egon would wear a button down and sweater vest for movie night. He walks up and stiffly shoves a pale pink pastry box at Ray.

"Hi!" says Raymond, more to the pastry box that's now in his hands than to Egon. "What's this?"

"Black and white cookies," Egon half smiles at the delighted look that breaks over Ray's face. He'd picked them up at lunch when he saw them in the deli case. They are thick and round, chewy and yielding under creamy icing, and exactly why they reminded him of Ray should perhaps not be examined at this moment.

"Thank you!" Ray grins and dives into the box. Bites one and says, "Want one?" around the bite.

"Yes," Egon didn't want one before but Ray is making it look like the best cookie in the universe and suddenly he is very hungry. At this moment, watching Ray's mouth, he might in fact want to BE a cookie.