The Devil's Heart (SPN/Lucifer{18+}

FBI Open Up!

Here's the next chapter.......

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The police arrived; and I gave descriptions of Dean and Sam, and Lucifer came out of my work room, and tells the officers.
"She was protecting me.
Those men were aiming to kill me."
He puts an arm around my waist, and I so wanted to smack him for doing that, but I held the urge back, and smiled kindly at the two officers.

"And you are?"
The female officer asked Lucifer.

"Lucifer."
He says to them.

They both looked at him weird.
"That's really his name.
He's been staying with me until he gets back on his feet."
I tell them.

"Okay.
Now how do you know Dean and Sam; Lucifer?"
The officers ask Lucifer.

"They are mentally unwell.
They think I'm the devil, but my parents are not God.
My parents died when I was an infant, and satanists that adopted me, named me Lucifer.
They think I'll bring the apocalypse again."
Lucifer says to the officers, and I look at him weird.

"We'll look and see if they are in the system as wanted people, and we'll get back with you ma'am.
We'll have an officer keeping watch over your home just in case they come back."
The female officer says to me.

"Thank you; she really feels unsafe."
Lucifer had a fake concerned look upon his face I could tell.

Keep acting boyo.
I sassily thought to myself, me mocking him.

I look to the officers and sigh as they then said their goodbyes, and left.
I shut the door and lock it, me turning towards Lucifer.
"Why do they want you?
Those two dudes?"
I put my hands upon my chubby kidney areas, giving him a look to explain himself.

"Well......it's none of your business."
He retorts out to me, and honked my breasts, which I then slap his hands away.

"I told you to quick honking my bagagagunks!"
I hiss out at him.

He laughed at me, and did the same thing once again, him honking my breasts, making them bounce.
"Knock it off!"
I fume.
"Don't make me fart!"

He pulls away, him giving me the bombastic-motherfucking-side-eye.
"Do not dare fart!"

"Then stop honking my boobs!
Cause I feel a fart coming and I'll use it!"
I retort sassily back.

"But it's fun to honk them, since they are so big."
He complained.

"Well it hurts dammit, so knock that shit off!
I'm already pissed those two dudes almost put a bullet in my forehead!"
I retort back.
"Cause I'm not ready to die yet!"

"Even if you die; I'll make sure your soul is mine, since I am an archangel after all.
I'll even turn you into a demon."
He says to me, him smirking at me.

"I don't think being turned into a demon will be that fun.
You make it seem like it's fun being a demon."
I say sassily to him, as I set my now empty coffee mug into the dishwasher.

"Being a demon is actually fun.
You will be powerful.
And you can possess other bodies, including anyone that's famous, or beautiful."
Lucifer says to me, though it was tempting to think about, but to me, taking over ones body is wrong, so I won't give him a reply as of yet.
"So?
Would you want to be a demon in the future after you die?"
He asked me.

"Let me think about it, but don't pester me, cause I hate that."
I tell him.
"Now we should make breakfast.
I'm thinking turkey and cheese omelettes."

"Whatever you want."
Lucifer sat at the bar in the kitchen.

A knock sounded at my door, and I walk to my door, and open it, seeing two men in suits, they weren't old, but young.
One of them had short combed back hair, and the other had a buzz cut.
"Hello; we are agents Baker and Allen.
We heard the Winchesters visited your home, and threatened to kill you and your roommate?"

I motion them to come in.
"Come in."

They walked into the home, and they looked to Lucifer.
Lucifer waved at them as he held a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos, him munching on them.
"This is Lucifer.
Yes that's his name, no joke.
He's the roommate."
I motion towards Lucifer.

"Hello agents."
Lucifer says with his mouth full.

"I told you to wait until breakfast Lucifer."
I sigh at him.

"Well I couldn't."
He sassed me.

"So; have you seen the Winchesters this morning?"
Agent Baker asked me.

"Yes; Dean put a gun to my forehead, and he wanted to murder me to get to Lucifer."
I tell Agent Baker.

"It's a good thing you protected your roommate.
Those two boys are serial killers.
They also mutilate graves and are in the occult."
Agent Allen says to me.

I did the Jackie Chan cringe meme face, making Lucifer laugh, and Agent Allen snicker.
I hope to gawd they didn't fuck the corpses like in Criminal Minds that one killer did.
I thought to myself, me grossed out at them even mentioning that Dean and Sam mutilated corpses.

"We have a patrol car watching your home; and if they come here again, we will arrest them."
Agent Baker cleared his throat as he says to me.

"Oh goodie!
That sounds like fun!"
Lucifer sassed Agent Baker, making the two agents look at him.
Lucifer shrugged.
"What?
It's funny you want to arrest those two."

"Lucifer has been stalked by them, so his trauma makes him act this way."
I lie to them.

Lucifer owes me for lying about him being the devil; big time.
I thought sassily to myself.

"I see.
Well we will also be scouting the neighborhood for them."
Agent Allen says to me.

"Here's my card.
Call me if you see them in town when you go out."
Agent Baker handed me his card with his information on it.

"Don't worry I will."
I tell them.

"These two have been on the wanted list for years, so helping us catch them will land you with a hefty reward."
Agent Allen says to me, him giving me a serious look.

"The reward is fifty grande."
Agent Baker says to me.

"F....fifty thousand dollars?!"
I ask in shock.

"Yes; they are the highest most wanted men."
Agent Baker have me a serious look.

Jesus fucking Christ!
I thought to myself in shock.

"I'll call you when I see them then."
I nod to them furiously.

"We will go scouting the perimeter now, so if you leave the home, be sure to call me immediately when they come up to you in town."
Agent Baker says to me.

"I understand."
I tell them both, and I saw them out the door, me thanking them for coming, then I shut the door, and locked it, me sighing as I leaned against the door.

Lucifer was now laughing.
"This is brilliant!"

"How is this brilliant?!
My life is in danger cause of them!"
I retort angrily back.

"I know that's awful, but I didn't know they were wanted by the Real FBI or I would've called them long ago, and they are put away, to where I can be free of them."
Lucifer says to me.
"So it is funny, since they shoved me back to hell, then I escaped again."

"You're horrendous."
I say to him.

"I thought you would think it was hilarious, since Dean put a gun to your head.
I also thought it funny that Sam was hit in the balls by your baseball metal bat."
Lucifer laughed at me.

I shook my head.
"You are just as bad as me when it comes to  my humor."
I giggle, me remembering me hitting Sam in the balls, and the look on his face was priceless.

Well I guess having a roommate isn't so bad after all then?

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To be continued......