Chapter 1~

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I'm finally starting a new job. To be honest it's my first job. I'm still not sure what my role will be, but at least I'll be able to pay for my own food and drink... I only have to think about work and eating; the rest must wait if I want to have a roof over my head.

Because of my family's reputation, no one here trusted me with a job. Even today, after months of living here, they look at me with distrust.

If it hadn't been for the only friend who remained close to me, who protected and helped me in every situation after all these years, I would almost certainly have ended up like my parents. In prison for life, that's how.

Before thinking back and dwelling on the past I absolutely had to think about something else. First of all I have to get out of bed, freshen up and eat something. At least that would already be something.

After having done all the necessary things to continue the day I thought about how to fix the hole I have in the roof.  This house is not the best;  water drips from the roof when it rains, the wood on the floor creaks with every step and the doors of the house don't close well and what's more the windows of the house are old fashioned, but at least they're not broken like the rest. But I couldn't ask for anything better being alone, without money and with work for just a day. Just give a touch up and repair what is broken and the house can be defined as an excellent refuge.

I took the ladder with me and placed it on the wall of the house. I just hope the ladder doesn't break too and leave me in mid-air.

To make the atmosphere more fun and lively I put on earphones and some rock music, so I'll definitely finish the job quickly.

Well now that the roof is in place let's move on to the sink, the light in the bathroom and the doors and...man, it seems to never end.

**

I'm still trying to tidy up the cellar and I didn't realize it was time for dinner. I didn't stop for a moment, I feel very tired and I smell old. It would be better to stop here and clean up and eat some food then I can go to bed early. Tomorrow I have to be in great shape.

I lie back in bed and the only thing I keep imagining is how tomorrow might go. Well...the important thing is being able to keep my job, the rest doesn't matter.

Little by little I felt my eyes closing so I let myself drift off to sleep.  I just hope that the next day I won't be in a bad state due to the current nightmares.

'I know it's a dream from the moment I manage to change things about it.  I'm little again when I was still in the orphanage with my younger brother. I was desperately trying to run. I was trying to escape into the forest, taking my brother with me. My heart was in my throat and my legs ran without ever stopping. Behind us I felt that they were calling us, they were about to reach us...they were about to take us.'

I woke up suddenly, I was sweaty and my breathing was fast, if the alarm hadn't gone off I would have been trapped in that dream for hours. Fuck that nightmare doesn't stop tormenting me, how I wish I had calmer and more peaceful dreams...oh my god.

I looked in the mirror and noticed some scary dark circles under my eyes. I absolutely had to make myself presentable. So a quick and refreshing shower is what I needed, because I couldn't wait to get on the bike and go down the road at great speed. That would have put me in a good mood. The only way for me to feel alive is to try the most reckless things there are to do.

I got on my bike and as soon as I reached the slope of the road I let go of the pedals. I let myself be carried away by the fast and steep descent of the road that led to the small town.

Luckily I didn't have to pedal very far to get to work, but in the meantime I enjoyed my steep descent, leaning sideways to take the curves in the road. It almost seemed like I was stumbling on the road. As soon as I had some money I would buy myself a racing motorbike so maybe I could travel the world.

I arrived at the vet's office, but before entering I looked at myself in a car mirror and fixed my hair and clothes and then finally entered the front door, I did it quickly before having second thoughts.

**

FINALLY! I screamed in my head. I just got home and I just want to sleep and never get up again. It's already ten in the evening, I haven't had dinner or changed, I've been lying on my stomach on the sofa for an hour and I'd also like to have a long drink.  Of alcohol...

Damn it, we're doing well for a first day on the job, I thought sarcastically.

I'm not a fan of all animals, but I'm also not someone who hates them or can't stand them, in fact if they put me with a tiger in a room I would be more than thrilled.

What I have to do for now in these coming months is to familiarize myself with the town's clients and their animals, take calls and write down appointments.

WOW! My dream job, exactly what I was looking for. At least I can save some money and get back on track with my life. What drives me to be so positive and want to work is to buy that damn motorbike and run around the world like crazy without paying attention to anyone or anything.

If I hadn't had this strong desire to have a racing motorcycle, I think I would have drowned in my mistakes that I made as a teenager, in fact I would have already been dead long ago.

OH GOD!!! Here comes again that desire to drink like a sponge, thinking that the past will disappear into thin air...of course girl, wait and hope. This was my mother's favorite quote, I really, REALLY hope with all my heart that I don't end up like her.

 This was my mother's favorite quote, I really, REALLY hope with all my heart that I don't end up like her

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