PROBLEM - Anthony Lockwood

CHAPTER SEVENTY SIX

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lxxvi

more agnst i'm sorry

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THE CAB STOPPED, and Alice and Lockwood both quickly exited.

Alice kept her back turned to him, arms crossed as she shivered. Her soaked dress was sticking to her chilled body, and every nerve was still screaming in pain from the effect of the river.

Lockwood marched after her. "Ally, I can't stand it anymore. Say something, anything. Please. We won - you can relax, it's over."

Alice felt her resolve snap.

She stopped walking, turning to face him, her eyes wide. Mascara was running down her face, mixing with the tears of blood that had filled her eyes in the river. Crimson was smeared at the side of her mouth as well.

Her face was gaunt as she looked up at him, trembling and furious.

"No, it's not. I told you I can't cross running water, and you still dragged me into the river!"

"You survived," Lockwood debated.

"Barely!" Alice exclaimed.

He scoffed, "And who's fault is all of this? Maybe if you hadn't lied to me constantly and hid everything, then we wouldn't have ended up cornered between a crazy hunter who wants you dead and the Thames. You're the one constantly hurting everyone around you and running into the centre of the flames."

Alice hissed through her teeth, "Yeah, and if I wasn't, you'd all be dead. You'd have all died in Combe Carey Hall if I didn't do what I did. Do you have any idea how many times I have risked exposure to save your life?!"

Lockwood scoffed, "If you had been fucking honest for once then you wouldn't have to risk exposure! I don't give a shit that you're a witch okay, I never fucking did, I've known since Combe Carey. Why did you keep it from us?!"

Alice narrowed her eyes, lips curling to a snarl.

"So many men have tried to kill me, I don't remember all of their names. I have been sold and branded like a broodmare. I have been chained and betrayed. Kidnapped and tortured and experimented on. And buried in a pit so deep in the ground, not even the Fiend could claw his way to me."

Her voice was low, but it was sending shivers down Lockwood's spine.

Alice looked up at him with furious, hate filled eyes. "So do you really think, after all of that, I would ever dream to tell you what I am?" She scoffed, glaring up at him. "Do you really want to know what I am so badly, Anthony?"

There was a horrifying, unnerving silence.

"I'm a monster."

And then she turned on her heel and strode into the house, leaving him crying in the street.

An hour later, Alice had showered and dressed her injuries and drank 3 sage and witch hazel potions to heal herself.

She was frantically packing her things.

In the months that she'd been at Portland Row, she certainly had accumulated a variety of possessions because she realised she was going to have to leave some things behind.

She swallowed a lump in her throat at the thought of leaving.

In the past months, Portland Row had become her home, her querencia, her heart. And she didn't want to tear herself from it.

She didn't want to leave the smell of burnt toast in the mornings. George's sarcastic comments. Lucy's laughter and sisterhood.

She didn't want to leave the feeling of Anthony Lockwood's lips on hers.

Alice forced herself to push the emotions back.

'You'll come back...' Tom had assured, all those weeks ago. Alice hated to admit that he was completely right.

She wondered if he'd kept her room in his house. Or if he'd kept the house at all.

Keep running. Don't stop running.

Alice looked in the mirror, her fingers coming to the necklace around her neck. The gold chain and heart pendant. She'd leave it on the desk with a letter of her apologies.

Knock.

She turned. "What is it?"

The door opened and only too late she realised that Lockwood was coming up the stairs of her room.

She darted over to the threshold of the steps, blocking his way into he room.

Lockwood had showered and changed, he wore a dress shirt and tie but no blazer. Alice swallowed as she looked at him, her lip trembling slightly.

He surveyed her in silence for a moment. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have dragged you into the water, and I shouldn't have expected that you be honest with me after all you and your people have been put through."

Alice looked down, she didn't trust herself to speak, for fear she'd burst into tears.

"What I'm trying to say is, don't give up on us," Lockwood pleaded, "Don't give up on me... To be honest, the bottom of the Thames used to be a far more appealing place to be and really, no one would have cared..."

Alice looked up at him, her voice breaking as she spoke, "We... we all would have. I would've."

Lockwood gave a tearful smile, but it faded quickly as his eyes flickered past her.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

Alice backed away like a deer caught in headlights. "I'm sorry, Anthony."

Lockwood's eyes widened in betrayal as he strode into her room as she backed away. "You're running away? Why are you running away?"

"I-I'm so sorry," her eyes wide and terrified, "I just... I thought-"

"You thought what?"

"That after all of this bullshit with the bone glass you'd hang me."

"What?"

Tears fell from Alice's eyes at that, and her voice broke when she spoke next. "This job has gotten so out of control, and you're right. I put everyone around me in danger. And hunters are after me, and if I don't leave now, I'm putting you in danger."

Lockwood shook his head, "No, that's not your decision to make."

"Anthony, please -" Alice began, but he silenced her by striding over to her and cupping her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.

"Listen to me, Ally," he begged, his voice quavering. "If we go down, we go down together. I have lost everybody, and I cannot afford to lose you too."

Alice pouted slightly as she cried. "I'm so sorry, Anthony."

And then her head was in his chest, and his hands were tightly holding her body against his as she wrapped her arms around him.

Lockwood buried his face in her hair, "Stay."

Alice listened to the comforting beat of his heart, finding solace in his arms. "Okay."