Wildfire

(12)

Kenneth Deora

Mariana immediately fell to the bed. Her chest moved up and down as she breathed covered in sweat.

"Do you need anything, Wildfire?" I asked, pulling the knife out of the mattress and going to the sink to wash it. I had a feeling that she wouldn't like it if I ruined any of her knives.

She shook her head. "I fucking hate you, Deora." I raised up an amused eyebrow, moving my fingers on her dripping thighs. "I'm sure you hate me with a raging passion, baby." I said, making her glare.

And God she looked better freshly fucked than I had imagined. "I do." She said, sitting up and looking at me. "I'll get you a new mattress." I said.

"It's fine. I have plenty in the other rooms." She lifted the glass of water I gave her to her mouth. "Hydrate, Wildfire. You lost a lot of liquid today." She glared at me again.

In all honesty. If I hadn't just heard her scream my name her glare would've been terrifying. "I will stab you." I couldn't help but chuckle, trying to convince myself it's a joke.

"With the knife you rode so beautifully?" That made her throw her heel beside her bed at me. "What's with all the shoe throwing?" I said catching the heel and putting it back.

She rolled her eyes at me. "What now? Is this how it's gonna be? You fuck and leave?" My eyebrows knitted in confusion. "I'm right here, aren't I?" She scoffed. "You're here right now. But for how long?"

I walked towards her, taking the glass from her and putting it away. My hands reached her face. "I'm here. Right fucking here till you want. And when you don't I'll still be here waiting till you do."

I waited for her reaction. There was none. "You don't mean that." I wiped the sweat off her forehead, "Try me."

She finally looked at me like I did not say the most ridiculous thing ever. That was a relief. "Do you wanna take a shower?" She nods before adding "alone."

I stayed in the bedroom fixing the sheets a bit while she showered. I noticed something sparkling in her heel and picked it up. Holy shit there are knives in her shoes.

I put it back as she came out of the shower in another knee length t-shirt. "I'm not gonna force you. If you want to go you can go." She was back to being her firm self. "And why would I want that, wildfire? Why would I want to be mine when I could be yours?"

She walked over to her vanity which had a covered mirror and put on whatever she did without opening the mirror. "Trust me. You don't wanna be mine."

I walked over, taking the lotion from her hands and taking some on my palm. I lifted her mirror's cover meeting her eyes in it and massaged the lotion on her shoulders.

"Look at me, princess. Do I look like I could belong to anyone that's not you? Do you believe I could be anything if not yours? Cause if you do think that, Mariana, you're So. Fucking. Wrong." My voice thickened with emotions I didn't even know I could feel. "I can't not be yours for I'd be nothing if not yours. No matter what you are, Wildfire, I'm yours now. Hell with you is my heaven and heaven without you is my hell. No matter how deep your fire is, I'm yours to burn now."

Her eyes stayed locked into mine like she was struggling to believe me. And to be honest I didn't expect those words to come out of me either. But Mariana had never ceased to surprise.

"I'm not ready to be yours right now. Maybe never will be, Kenneth." She pushed my hands off her shoulders. She was still in a shirt, a little looser than before.

"Then I'll wait." My voice came out in a whisper. "For how long?" Her voice cracked, making my heart crack with it.

"As long as you need." I said turning her around and kissing her. This kiss was different from the previous ones. It was slow; it was promising. This kiss was a promise that I'll die to keep without regret.

She breathed in as if taking in my promise. I didn't care. I'll prove myself as many times as she wanted me too.

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Mariana Montanari

I wanted to believe him. And I almost did too. But somewhere, a part of me refused to believe it was real. That he would love me if he found out.

But this was the last piece of me and after years I didn't know if I was ready to risk it. If I lost it I would lose the only thing they left of me. My brain fought against the heart which was dying to feel something. It had been long enough that I've forgotten ever having one.

Maybe this once I could let the walls down. The adrenaline raised through me. I was letting the fear control me again.

I stood on the edge of the cliff staring at the water below. I'd always been scared of heights. I came here to remind myself of that. Of the fear.

I came here to remind myself of how I'd never truly be free of fear. No matter what. Something will always haunt me. Whether physical touch, mirrors, or heights.
I will never be free.

I jump.

Time for another jump then. "Sleep here tonight." I said, knowing having a man in my bed would never stop scaring me. Maybe I was just too pathetic to get over something so fucking simple.

But I wanted him. And I'd never wanted anything after being free. I was too scared that giving into my heart would make me caged again. But this time I was going to have to face the fear of being caged for the love of him. Like the fear of heights for the love of water.

I didn't know what I loved about him but I also didn't know what I didn't love about him.

He got in bed, keeping his movements slow as if he sensed my discomfort. "Wake me up if you want me to leave. Anytime, for any reason. No questions asked." He said, making me nod.

I fell asleep faster than I've ever had before. Orgasms are good for sleep I guess. I waited for the discomfort I should've been in since there was a man in my bed but it never came.

I looked at a sleeping Kenneth with his arm around my waist and it didn't freak me out.

The shit you do to me, Deora.

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