Wildfire

(27)

Kenneth Deora

My head throbbed with unbearable pain and my liver was probably shredded by now.

That didn't stop me. I needed pain. More pain. Unbearable fucking pain. I needed to be punished for failing as a son again.

Failing my mother yet again.

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"I don't want to!" I yelled at my dad. I didn't wanna move out of the UAE. It was where I was born and raised. If my dad had to leave this place he can do it alone.

He says it's because of political reasons but it was obvious the media found him cheating on my mom.

"Okay. You're at fault for what I do to your mother now." I watched in horror as he gripped her by the hair and didn't even bother shutting the door.

I wanted to help. I really did but my muscles froze in fear, my head went blank.

Even if I have the ability to think or move right now there's nothing a 4 year old could do against him.

I tried explaining to myself but it wouldn't work. There was no excuse. I watched it happen. I was just as guilty as him.

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Since that day I had never argued with him over anything. I wanted to. There was so much to say, to call him out for but my mother wouldn't be safe if I let go.

I took her safety as my responsibility for so long that she accepted it too. I held on so hard and so much that she could let go.

And I was right to do so because what happened when I let go? She was kidnapped. Probably being hurt again all because of me. All because I trusted someone who gave me every reason not to.

I opened another bottle to punish myself for it. I was not 4 anymore but I needed saving more than ever right now.

My muscles lost all control as I fell to the floor. As much as I hated it, the name left my mouth almost involuntarily.

"Wildfire, save me... Please..." My voice cracked as I begged the empty room. My vision went black and my breath turned into choked gasps.

I hated that I needed her and only her to save me. She ruined everything but I needed her. Desperately, hopelessly needed her to save right now.

To look me in the eyes and tell me she didn't do it. To tell me she loves me too. My vision started going black as I let the exhaustion take over.

My heartbeat grew slower till there was barely any left. I heard her voice, her laugh, her telling me she loved me too. I chanted her name like a prayer, maybe if I say it honestly enough she'd come back. She'd tell me it's all a bad dream. She'd tell me it was all okay.

"Mariana... Mariana.... Mariana...." My voice grew slower like my heartbeat. I didn't struggle when the darkness took over. This was it.

Mariana Montanari

My wrists were sore from being tied over my head for who knows how long. This was not a good time to have anaemia. My hands were cold enough to freeze hell and ironically the rest of my body was hot enough to burn but that was just a fever.

I almost felt crucified except these two kept touching me. They had ripped my clothes off till they served no purpose.

I screamed every time a hand brushed across my torso. When both of them had had enough kicks they finally decided to tie my legs.

I wanted to pray but that wasn't an option after burning a church I guessed.

My dad believed that going to church on Sundays would send him to heaven. Clean the sins he committed on me. I hated that. I hated him anywhere other than hell. The day I killed my father I tossed a lighter in the church as well. Let's just say Jesus did not save them.

How could he? He was tied up too.

I struggled against the ropes as another pair of hands started moving on my body. I had no energy left to use my actual voice after being here for days or weeks even. The sharp edge on the wooden structure digging into my back.

I groaned as the hands started moving in places they shouldn't. The ways I didn't want them to.

My thoughts went from being a whore again to my dad's basement to Kenneth. That's where they've been for a while.

What if he found out? Would he feel disgusted? Would he see me as they all do? Would he hold me again?

I'd beg him to. I needed him. I needed his touch, his voice, his stupid grin when I rolled my eyes at him, his calm face when I was on the verge of killing him, the mischief in his eyes when he vandalised my car every other week.

I cried out as a breath hit my neck. I needed this to stop. This can't be happening. I need- my thoughts were cut off by the sharp pain of the man forcing himself inside me. I tried to struggle as much as I could but it was futile.

Kenneth... Kenneth... Kenneth.... I chanted in my head like a prayer. I need him right now.. I need to tell him I love him. I need to see his stupidly beautiful face. I needed him to save me, to not be repulsed by me.

There's not much I could do if he was. So was I. Maybe he'd tell me to leave him alone. Maybe he'd think I'm used. But at least it'd be him.

Silent tears left my eyes as blood covered my legs yet again. It made my inside turn to think about Francisca doing this to me. My own mother is doing this.

I stood there shaking for I didn't know how long.

Save me Kenneth..... Please.....

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