❝ 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬❞ Months have passed since San left behind everything he ever desired, determined to confront the demons that had him spiraling without reprieve. Cursed and bound by fate, it became increasingly difficult for him no...
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《 ੈ✩‧₊˚ ˊˎ- 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠'𝐬𝐏𝐎𝐕 》
The morning after my meltdown was filled with a long line of grief. San had patiently waited in bed with me as I slept the day before until he had stirred me awake carefully, expressing that he had a guest downstairs that he needed to go greet. I had laid there, slowly waking myself up, wrestling with my thoughts, struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened.
Eventually I wove myself out of bed, listening to the mumbled chatter between a few of my friends along with San's voice that I could easily pick out, pulling me further away from my haze of sleep and down to the kitchen, observing a tattoo session in progress.
After a lot of internal debate, I joined in, observing Seong-Min's new phoenix tattoo, Yeosang's freedom tattoo, and Jongho's detailed tattoo that clearly held a powerful meaning beyond it. There was only one thing left in my mind, a simple idea, but it would serve as a reminder to everything that's happening right now that I wouldn't be alone, and I never had to be.
Currently, I had been laying in bed for a long stretch of unknown time. My mind was a blank canvas, awaiting its muse and paint to spread across the white threads in an effort to tell a new story, regardless of how dark or bright it had been. Beyond this, I think I was emotionally drained, unable to register a single emotion as I laid there and stared at the ceiling, counting each groove with steady breaths, wondering where I could even go from here.
Greeting my parents and simply just taking in their presence had been overwhelming, but I found myself wrapped in a bout of guilt, having stormed away with rushing feelings that were too powerful. I wanted to sit with them and enjoy the time we now had, fixing the emptiness of the space their absence left in my life. I had felt so lonely, and so depressed, in those first few years, making impulsive decisions and thinking without a care in the world for myself or those around me.
I wanted nothing more than to be in the arms of my parents again, to think about what time we had ahead of us rather than the time we had lost. There was so much planning to do in terms of my wedding with San, plans that I hadn't envisioned them being a part of, let alone accepting San as a part of my life, welcoming him in without a care in the world. This family that I had created, one full of skilled misfits and amazing friendships with carefully crafted bonds, had become the family I was missing.
I was bitter. My life changed, in some of the worst ways imaginable, left alone on the streets, an orphan amongst the falling rain and looming nimbus clouds. Their existence was eradicated from my life, and my presence in the world became a fading light, a hopeless beacon that would eventually dim and stop blinking amongst its computer module.
Fending for myself all of those years wound me up in the clutches of someone who used me, only to be tossed around and hurt by manipulation, corrupted by eyes I thought truly cared about me yet now shine within my own, a reflected image that will haunt me until I stop breathing. Minho was the older brother I needed when I was alone, taken under his wing, taught how to survive in this new life he had chosen for me.
