Defying Fate

Chapter 29-p2

Note: (I hope everyone enjoyed the Underworld Saga drop yesterday.)

Odysseus sat down on the floor, and picked up one of Asterion's toys half-heartedly. He was pouting, and he knew it, but he couldn't stop the jealousy and frustration seeping into his mind.

"We just have to put our trust in the gods," Polites said softly, reaching out to pat Odysseus' knee. "Right?"

"I just wish we could do more," Odysseus muttered. "I feel so helpless, like, everything we do is just at their whims. From the moment we left Troy—no—even before that. That whole stupid war! I'm tired of playing their games!" He threw himself back, lying flat on his back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. "I wish that we'd never left home."

Asterion came over curiously, and laid his head down on Odysseus chest, gently, awkwardly, like he didn't really know the reason for it, like it was simply a habit. They lay there for several seconds, and Odysseus felt his frustration ebb away. Odysseus put a hand on the boy's head and ruffled his hair.

"Well, if we'd never gone to Troy, we wouldn't have met Asterion, or Cassandra." He sat back up, dislodging Asterion and pulling him into his lap, hugging him close. "It's kind of hard to regret those decisions." Though had they never gone to Troy, Asterion would probably still have his real father, and he'd be safe-- Odysseus shoved the thought out of his mind.

Asterion squirmed a little, and Odysseus loosened his grip, watching Cassandra as she stacked blocks idly, resting her chin on one hand.

"We should make a plan, instead of just waiting around for the gods," Eurylochus said, pacing with his hands behind his back.

"Right," Odysseus muttered. "That's my job..." but his brain was still not working. It skittered from topic to topic in his mind like some small animal, asking endless what-if questions, but never coming up with an answer. He didn't remember it being this hard to concentrate when he was a child before, but maybe, it was just that this problem was much bigger than anything he'd had to contend with at home. At home, the problems had been being late to archery lessons, or making sure Polites wasn't being bullied. Then, when he'd gotten older, the problems were still mostly straightforward, go here, fight there, steal that.

All this business with gods and time travel, that was beyond anything he'd ever had to think about before. What could a mortal do, even as an adult? What if they never made it back? What if they couldn't change back? What if they made it back, but didn't change back? What would he tell Penelope? He clutched his head and groaned out loud. That particular what-if was especially unpleasant. It kept circling around to the same fear he'd had for years now. What if Penelope didn't recognize him when he came back? It had been so long. What if he'd changed too much? What if Telemachus didn't like him?

Cassandra dropped her blocks and reached out to pat Odysseus on the knee.

"Take your time," she said. "Don't hurt yourself."

Odysseus looked at her. Despite her transformation, she didn't really act much like a toddler.

"Maybe we should go back outside," Polites suggested. "We can get some fresh air, and maybe it'll be easier to think."

But the problems weren't inside the house. They were inside Odysseus' *mind.* It wouldn't do any good to try to explain it, so he stood up and lifted Asterion, moving him to ride piggy-back style, his little hands clasped around Odysseus' shoulders.

"Okay, you're right, fresh air is a good idea," he said. "Asterion, you ready to go fast?"

"Go fass..." the little boy repeated, smiling.

Odysseus didn't wait for his friends but took off for the back door at top speed.

"Keep your shoes on!" Eurylochus called after him, but then he was gone, leaving them all in the dust.