I'd die for you - A Battle of Hogwarts love story ✅

Chapter 16

‘What do you mean, he won’t be the same?’ I asked Sky angrily. ‘Owen’s still Owen, right?’

‘He’ll be the same person, honey.’ Suse whispered. ‘But he won’t be as... endurable as before.’

‘What the hell does that means?’ I shrieked, ignoring my sore throat.

‘First of all, he’s scarred.’ Dave said. ‘Badly.’

‘Well, that makes two of us.’ I said, showing them a few scars on my shoulder. ‘And this aren’t the bad ones. I’m hideous, I imagine.’

‘He won’t be able to stand or walk for more than two hours in a row.’ Suse said. ‘He’ll need to sit down for a while every time you go out or something. But that will be less worse in a month or so. He’ll be training to walk longer, and in a month, he’ll be the same as before in that way.’

‘No problem.’ I said. ‘What else?’

‘He – well – he...’ Suse seemed lost for words.

‘His sexlife...’ Dave started, obviously embarrassed. ‘Well, it...’

‘Just spit it out, all right.’ I said irritated. ‘He can’t have sex anymore? He won’t ever get a hard-on? Don’t be embarrassed, just tell me, I need to know.’

‘The healers don’t know if he’ll be able to feel... turned on ever again. He’ll get a hard-on, all right. But he may not feel attracted to anyone anymore. A part of his brain got damaged, and he might not feel the need to kiss or touch any girl anymore.’ Sky said, looking pained.

I sighed. ‘Well, I don’t think I would-’

‘If you hurt my brother by leaving him, just because his brain got damaged and he won’t want to jump your bones, I’ll kick your ass.’ Andrew said gravely.

‘Andrew!’ Sky said angrily. ‘You don’t know what you’re saying.’

‘I will not leave him.’ I said softly. ‘He saved my life. But that’s not why... I love him. I can’t leave the guy I love... Even if he won’t... want me anymore. But if he wants me to leave him, I can handle that.’ Tears poured out of my eyes. I felt like the whole world collapsed. If Owen wouldn’t want me anymore, he would send me away. He would maybe even blame me for this – and that was only fair.

‘Honey...’ Suse and Sky rushed over to me and they both took one of my hands.

I just sobbed for a while, closing my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see the pity in my friends’ eyes. That hurt more than anything. I had said I would be able to handle it when Owen would send me away. The truth was I wasn’t sure I would be. I thought it would be easier to deal with failing school or having my own father slap me in the face than to deal with Owen not wanting me anymore. Well, maybe we could be just friends... I imagined me and Owen being friends. I saw all too well that just wouldn’t work. I would still want him, crave him, love him. And he wouldn’t see me that way anymore. Maybe he would still be able to love me, just maybe... But he wouldn’t feel the same way about me I was sure he had before the fight. And if he didn’t feel that way about me, would he even want to be with me anymore? I didn’t think so.

I must have fell asleep somewhere between the crying and the comforting from my amazing friends, since I woke up feeling fully rested, although every inch of me seemed to be in pain. Madam Pomfrey hurried to my side the moment I tried to sit up and she pushed me down on the bed again.

‘Don’t move too much, honey.’ she said quietly. ‘You’re body’s still healing.’

I scraped my throat to ask her how the others were, but she didn’t give me a chance to ask.

‘I will give you something to ease the pain. You’ll be able to walk around a bit after that, stretch your stiff limbs... But be careful, girl, we don’t want you to get hurt any more than you already are.’

‘Hell no, we don’t.’ Sky’s voice sounded at my left.

I turned my head and looked at Suse’s and Sky’s well-rested faces. They were a bit bruised and scarred maybe, but nothing too bad. I heard two pairs of feet approaching, and my friends’ eyes lit up immediately. I turned my head to see Andrew and Dave walking toward us. Andrew walked like he always had – no sign of limping. I could see Dave’s horrible scar on his arm, as he was wearing a T-shirt. But besides that, he looked perfectly fine. He hugged Suse lightly – still careful, although she looked as shiny and healthy as Sky did. Andrew was less careful with Sky – he just pulled he tightly against him and kissed her on the lips. She let out a girlish giggle that I had never heard coming out of her mouth, and blushed.

‘Marie, how are you?’ Andrew asked me with a bright smile. ‘You’ve been asleep forever.’

‘How long have I been here?’ I asked quietly.

‘Five days since last time you were awake. So that’s eight days overall.’ Dave answered.

‘I slept for five days in a row?’ I gasped. Was that even possible?

‘You sure did, honey.’ madam Pomfrey said, returning with a glass of purple liquid. ‘Now, drink this. It’ll help.’

As I was aching all over, I gulped it down without hesitating, although it tasted like something that belonged in the garbage. Strangely enough, I felt better the moment I swallowed. With a sigh of relief, I sat up straight and smiled brightly. ‘Thank you so much, madam Pomfrey. I can’t thank you enough for all the good care the past days.’

‘It’s my job.’ she said, but she looked pleased at the compliment.

When she was gone, I got up and looked at my friends. There was a lot to discuss, but there were more important things right now. ‘Where’s Owen?’

‘Over there.’ Andrew pointed. ‘But don’t you dare giving him a hard time, he can’t help-’

‘I know. I won’t.’ I assured him. ‘It’s more likely he will be giving me a hard time.’

He blinked. ‘What do you mean-’

‘He most likely won’t want me anymore.’ I said with difficulty. My eyes were already burning; tears ready to roll down my face. And I had thought I could handle this. ‘And I love him more than... well, more than anything really. How do you think that feels? How would you feel if Sky was about to tell you she didn’t feel anything special for you anymore?’

He swallowed. ‘Okay, sorry.’

‘Besides, I guess he’ll be blaming me for what happened to him as well. And he’s right – it’s my fault.’ My voice wavered and I fell quiet.

‘He choose to jump in front of you.’ Dave said softly. ‘Not your fault.’

‘And it’s not like Owen to blame you.’ Suse murmured.

‘He won’t love me anymore. Why wouldn’t he blame me? It will feel like he jumped in front of a girl. Just a girl he happens to know. He will blame her. That is to say, he’ll blame me. I can’t be mad about that... He’s right.’ I said almost inaudible. ‘He’s right.’

‘Maybe he will still like you, Marie.’ Sky said hopefully. ‘You never know before you talk to him.’

‘That’s what I am going to do now.’ I brushed my pj’s and braced myself. ‘Would you mind leaving us alone for a bit?’

They all hugged me and wished me luck. They all smiled hopefully, but I could see in their eyes they didn’t really believe he would still love me.

Neither did I.